Sarcasm ahead!
Study: Majority of Activity on Facebook Consists of Spelling & Grammar Corrections
A place for learning
On the heels of the report that Facebook has overtaken Google as the most popular destination on the web comes a new study about the activities which Facebook users most engage in, when on the popular social networking website.
“We found that users spend the majority of their time correcting others’ spelling and grammar errors. This is an interesting finding because it was previously thought that the time spent on Facebook (and other social networking sites) was completely wasted. We now know that there are a lot of educational activities going on when people are logged on,” said the conductor of the study, I. M. Aidop.
The study concluded that even though most of the corrections offered by fellow Facebook users were wrong, their hearts were in the right place.
“There is no reason to believe that the attempt to correct someone else’s minor errors and omissions has any basis in lack of general self esteem or inability to recognize and contribute to the main topic at hand and concentrate on insignificant minutiae.”
Lawsuit: Fine Print Not Fine Enough
In a groundbreaking lawsuit, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe, is filing a suit against a well-known food manufacturer, claiming that the fine print on their boxes was not fine enough.
“Our client has suffered a great deal from the fact that she now weighs 300 pounds—she used to weight a mere 220– after going on a 12-month diet which consisted of mainly the food products of the defendant,” said the attorney representing Mrs. Pamela L. Umpire.
The suit claims that the fine print on the box of the diet foods Mrs. Umpire was consuming was not ‘fine’ enough to be considered fine print.
“Per my husband’s recommendation, I always look for the fine print, whether it’s on advertisements or product packaging. But I completely missed the supposed fine print in this case because the font was simply too large to be considered ‘fine’—it is at least a size 12 font. I gained all this weight because I didn’t realize I was supposed to also exercise and only eat the recommended portions on the box,” said, Mrs. Umpire.
Polls – Now Slightly Less Inconclusive
No more robots please!
The polling frenzy in California continues to crescendo. The governor’s race in the U.S.’s most populous state is drawing near and political pundits and polling professionals are in high demand. Websites, radio stations, and television channels are clamoring to bring audiences the latest in highly accurate and non-partisan punditry and scientifically accurate public opinion polls.
“We have spent large sums of time and money on developing the most advanced polling techniques, which have helped the accuracy to skyrocket to an impressive margin of error of slightly over 50-points. Additionally, our top political analysts have never been in greater disagreements on what the polls actually mean,” said a network representative.
The most interesting finding has been that a large segment of the people polled don’t even realize there is a governor’s race going on.
Mom Sues Cable Network: My Baby Won’t Breastfeed
In a snafu, a major cable network accidentally beamed previews of adult shows onto kids programming. This has resulted in a lawsuit, which is something the network expected; however, the allegations and damages being sought came as a surprise.
“Mrs. Bobbie S. Agsia is asserting that while watching a children’s show with her infant, the adult programming came on showing women with unnaturally immaculate breasts, which has now resulted in her child refusing to breastfeed since her own breasts cannot compete with the ones flashed on the children’s television show,” said Mrs. Asia’s attorney.
“My child thinks I am a monster!” said Mrs. Agsia, sobbing.
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