How to get money without working
Help! A few months ago, I got tired of working, so I quit my job. For some reason I couldn’t get my parents to pay my rent, and the landlord keeps asking why I haven’t paid. I’m afraid I’ll get evicted soon! What should I do to get money? -Broke and Desperate
Dear Broke & Desperate,
It is at difficult times such as this when one’s character and will is tested. Don’t give up on not working, but instead be creative about obtaining food and shelter. Here are some options to get you thinking a bit more creatively:
– If your parents are the conservative type who worry about their image in the community, you can cleverly hint at how you’ll embarrass them to within an inch of their lives if they don’t start being more ‘supportive’.
– It’s not easy to find people to support you if you are searching for people at the same level or above you on the attractiveness index. So find a girlfriend (or a boyfriend, works either way) who is considerably below you on the attractiveness index, and try to develop a relationship where your contribution is only your physical appearance, in return for which you can expect to be ‘taken care of’.
– Run for office, and go into politics. Sure, you’ll have to do some work in the beginning but later on down the line you’ll be able to live off of public money while whoring around claim you are doing whatever you’ll be eventually accused of for the good of the people.
I hope these examples will help put you on the right track. Do let us know how this works out for you.
Would you like terrible advice? Why not ask the Sarcastic Sage?