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How to get rid of an ex

Written by Sarcastic Sage on August 22, 2011 - Comments (9)

My ex-girlfriend wants to remain friends. I’ve removed her from Facebook and deleted her number but she still talks to me as if we’re as close as ever! I just want to stop thinking about her and get on with my life. How do I get the message across that I want a life without her? -Adam

Dear Adam,

I know it has become kind of a cliché here, but again we must trust the magical powers of a threesome.

Why don’t you suggest to your ex girlfriend that you want to have a threesome with her and her mom or sister (if she has one). This will end in either of two scenarios. One, you’ll end up living the fantasy of every guy on the planet. Or two, she’ll be so upset at the suggestion that she’ll cut off all ties.

Of course, you’ll need to make sure the mom or the sister are not visually less than desirable.

Do come back and let us know how it works out.

Sincerely,

Sarcastic Sage

Would you like terrible advice? Why not ask the Sarcastic Sage?

Comments

  1. Totally works

  2. Omg….. I wonder if it worked? Adam plz do reply on the outcome….. :)

  3. nightingale801

    Meh, thinking inside the box again, dear sarcastic sage . . .(“It’s possible to become so comfortable with one’s style and structure that one ceases to grow.” -Lynn Abbey) if you want to structure your *NOW* and live your life while doing so don’t use old recipes:) Don’t leave in someone else’s imaginary or not, successful or not -past- No predictions, no manipulation of someone else’s psyche but living each moment as it is. Step by step *in space and time* a dance with everything every given moment ~ nothing else exists. Btw, have you ever heard about the death of Pan?

    • Interesting. How would you have gone about giving advice to Adam?

    • nightingale801

      Ah, L4NC3 advice ≠ pre-written script advice = reopening the bag of tools as a memory refresher (as in Bag of Tools by R.L.Sharpe 4*google it*) I, for example pointed at my compass and my sense of balance among other things.

  4. Also, you may want to make sure that, in addition to having a hot mom/sister, she doesn’t have any brothers….especially brothers that are way bigger than you….

  5. highheelrevolution

    Milf is the way to go …

  6. This is just an old Seinfeld episode.

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