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I am a very sarcastic person

Written by Sarcastic Sage on July 20, 2010 - Comments (6)

I am a very sarcastic person and have always been this way. Whether it stemmed from early rejection or a deeply troubling childhood and adolescence, I’ll never know.

My sense of humor has often been called “mean” and “cynical.” I’ve had nicknames such as “The Misery Chick” and “Sarcasmo.” My constant barrage of sarcastic word vomit has landed me in hundreds of awkward situations and arguments that inevitably are worsened by my chronic sarcastic word diarrhea. It seems that even if the timing is really inappropriate, I can’t help but find some way to make fun of it.
I even partly blame my attitude for my most recent breakup (though it may have also been my detailed James Brown mug shot chest tattoo that scared him.)

In any case, I am going to college soon and I was wondering if you could give me any advice on turning down the sarcasm. I don’t actually hate people (not REALLY anyway,) and I do want to make friends and show professors that I’m not the miserable smart ass my mother says I am.

Try your best to reply, I understand the effort of which is extremely strenuous.



Dear Genevieve,

It is a delight hearing from readers like you who spend time to come up with such original problems to submit to the Sarcasm Society; after all, who would think to seek help regarding sarcasm from the Sarcastic Sage. Now, I am not saying that you don’t have an actual problem; you do, but it’s not being too sarcastic, it’s being too original.

As far as sarcasm and college are concerned, you don’t have to be worried about alienating people. College is the perfect place to be nihilistic and a jackass, especially if you are going to be majoring in some kind of artistic field or even writing or philosophy; people in those fields are expected to be miserable smart asses. Plus, your originality problem will also be resolved since you’ll be required to stop thinking for yourself.

- Sarcastic Sage

Don’t forget to submit your request for help to the Sarcastic Sage.


  1. I’ve learned to bite my tongue, alot. Sometimes I’ll just get a silly smirk on my face because I have the most hilarious comment ready to be blurted out, but it just wouldn’t be appropriate, so I keep it to myself.Sometimes it leaks out though and I have to say sorry it was too easy I couldn’t help it.

  2. That’s exactly it.. just learn to bite your tongue a bit and have consideration for others’ feelings… sometimes.

  3. Most of us guys wander through life looking for a girl with a detailed James Brown mug shot tattoo on their chest. So be who you is, don’t let up with the sarcasm.

  4. nightingale801

    *lol*:D and you forgot psychology and the experiments that get terminated for ethical & unpredicted reasons and noone talks about it:x or understand why:s and yeah I love the university but there are professors that just memorize the lecture and cannot be stopped because they forget what they were suppose to say, so no time for reflections or ‘deep’ thoughts etc:) . . . indeed you gave a nice advice but in the universities you can find neo-nazis as well but hey as soon as they are discovered the professors do their best and Neo Nazi students are easy to figure out. . :) and now:x Or wait a second ,ah yes, there are also the professors that advice you to stick to the level of the course and not write or think like you are in a more advanced course etc . . and now:x See? No sarcasm or irony here just pragmatic observations*SPARKLY SMILE*

  5. I would go even further. The problem, Genevieve, isn’t that you are too sarcastic. The problem is that you’re halfhearted and doubtful about the reactions to your sarcasm. The answer here is to rededicate yourself to this ideal that we call sarcasm, and to renew your sarcastic activity with great vigor. Remember, the point of sarcasm isn’t to make people like you, it’s to prove to them that you’re their master intellectually. Don’t worry about their reactions, they are merely the targets for the stinging whip of your lightning wit.

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