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I hate the people I work with

Written by Sarcastic Sage on August 18, 2010 - Comments (13)

I hate the people I work with, they are a bunch of pricks. However, I can’t find another job at the moment. How can I deal with these stupid people at work? -Ana

Dear Ana,

It is important to realize that if you are going to prostitute yourself for money—that’s basically what all work is, prostitution—then you should expect to have to deal with pricks.

But in all seriousness, you bring up a very interesting issue, and I am intrigued by this very unusual problem you seem to be having at work. I say this because, generally, coworkers tend to be very friendly to one another, and would sell their respective families down the river just to spend a few minutes with each other.

Since you cannot find a job, what you need to do is be a bigger prick to your coworkers than they are to you, which will then force them to look for another job. Soon, you will have a whole new set of coworkers with whom you will get along with beautifully.

Sincerely,

The Sarcastic Sage

Would you like terrible advice? Why not ask the Sarcastic Sage.

Comments

  1. This is the best advice the Sage has ever given. And even though this is a sarcastic website, I am not being sarcastic. I hope Ana writes back and tells of if this works!

  2. I have to agree with Oblivious. There are other methods, but the most effective one by far is addressed in this article. I also hope it works out for you, Ana, just be careful and not cross the line to get fired, give em hell!!

  3. I do this when it comes to marriage. I have yet to find someone I can stand being around.

  4. nightingale801

    *trying to find the right vocals*_Hhh scr__ _t.

    Pfft that was it. Or was .that. IT? The smell of a fart lasts longer.Really. Sorry for being unpretentiously ungrateful.Got any tea leaves left?

    • This comment makes less sense than my third wife’s cooking. Seriously, chocolate omelets were disgusting.

    • what drugs are you on? share them about? sounds like fun.

    • nightingale801

      @Orange:) it is quite easy, you can produce the chemicals in your brain. What you need is: a manual on how to use your brain and another manual on how to be able to see what exists but it is not visible to the naked eye.

      @Richard Banger When you stop banging your head against the wall because this is the only bang action you get you might find a way to learn how to live your life alone, be happy. Grow etc.

  5. Thank you great sage; this is truly original and profound advice. And if you thimk chocolate is disgusting, try avacado and sharp cheddar.

  6. Oracular Spectacular

    Wow! That’s just unbelievably sage. :). Indeed the best advice given here.
    But if Ana’s coworkers, who might be facing the same problem as Ana is facing right now when Ana behaves like a “bigger prick,” also ask the Sarcastic Sage for advice, then?
    They’d try to be even bigger pricks to her, wouldn’t they? :p

    Dear Ana,
    What I sincerely think is that you’re in fact an even more mean character than your coworkers. It’s just that you’ve joined later and they were already there so they have a greater say and are more powerful.
    You seem to be helpless against their monopoly. You want to enjoy the same autonomy and power but you just can’t.
    My advice to you is that, rather than changing the environment according to your whims, change the latter according to the former, and keep looking for another job.
    Until you find a new job, just bear in mind two things:
    a) Two kinds of people don’t have the right to choose: (actual) prostitutes and (metaphorical/ figurative) prostitutes.
    b) Every prostitute, actual or metaphorical, has her day!

    Hope that helps.
    Peace.

    • nightingale801

      Hey you Oracular Spectacular, what a good answer but shall I tell you something? The prostitute that was forced to be a prostitute is a bad, mechanic, soulless prostitute

      the prostitute that choose this profession is a good and soulful prositute that gives life to mechanical movements(sex, whatever) and daily improves her/his techniques or knows when it is time to take a break, find her/him self perhaps meditate and then go back to work change what need to be change in her/his self or the environment but/and a good prostitue can be perceived as a Diva now and then by outsiders(meaning those that are not in contact with *whatever*)

      One more question are you friends with Mr.Treehugger? If you are give him this link and say that the stonehugger said hello: http://www.treehugger.com/galleries/2010/08/10-real-life-sea-monsters.php?page=1

  7. An advice from The Sarcastic Sage without any mention of a threesome ?

    IMPOSTOR!!!!

  8. Choc omelette fancier

    Your ex wife can make chocolate omelettes?

    Can I have her number please mate?’

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