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I have been friends with this one girl for around 2 years now…

Written by Sarcastic Sage on August 10, 2010 - Comments (16)

I have been friends with this one girl for around 2 years now, I fell for her almost immediately and she rejected me. Just recently I had to transfer to the same school as her for some required credits and we began to hang out a lot. After a while it really seemed like we had started dating, although unintentionally. I did not think about this until she invited me to dinner with her parents. Now here’s the problem, I am horrible with relationships and couple that with the fact that my family is going through the worst financial crisis to date, we may lose our home, I have been super stressed out. Basically, I get angry at her for tiny things and I believe I’m fucking it up royally, as they say in Britain or England (same shit).

The point is that I already know I have to find a new way to release stress, but how can I make it up to her? (A threesome definitely will not work, I tried before). –Hoff

Dear Hoff,

I am glad that you’ve been paying attention to my advice, and have already tried a threesome. Even though threesomes are known to be able to solve almost every problem, there are still times that the issue is just too big for a threesome; however, this is not one of them. If you are thinking that I am instead going to recommend a foursome, you are mistaking.

It’s not the threesome that is the problem, but rather the people involved in it. Since you are the one who needs to relieve stress in order to avoid taking it out on your girlfriend, then you need to find two willing parties who are equally stressed and in need of relief. Under no circumstances try to involve your girlfriend in this threesome because you are bound to snap at her for doing something wrong, and that’ll just make things worse.

Sincerely Yours,

The Sarcastic Sage

Would you like terrible advice? Why not ask the Sarcastic Sage.


  1. *mistaken

  2. I’m stressed….

  3. nightingale801

    Aww this one was different, had a different writing tone and it also shows that you are not a beginner:D *lol* you are born to be the sage of bullshiting *LOL* and the summary would be: seek for like-minded if you know who you are BUT the sage oh so wise sage already knew that that would be a problem and that is why you gave a more detailed explanation: “who are equally stressed and in need of relief.”

    I liked this one:)

  4. *Grammar Nazis

  5. Clearly, you’re all missing the obvious opportunity here. Dude should become a gigolo which would both relieve his stress and help to pay off some of his families financial obligations at the same time.

  6. This was really funny… but… I want to be very clear.. IT WAS NOT ME OR ANY OF MY RELETIVES!!!
    None of us can spell that well nor can we count to three let alone to some..
    I tried teh Gigolo thing once.. I apparently misunderstood.. I thought it invloved a “Limbo stick”

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