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I love browsing the web on my laptop

Written by Sarcastic Sage on August 12, 2010 - Comments (7)

It’s terrible! I love browsing the web on my laptop while lying on my bed. The problem is I can’t find a comfortable position. I lie on my back and put the laptop on my belly but that gets tiring. I lie on my stomach and put the laptop in front of me. That doesn’t work for me either. I don’t know what to do with myself. Maybe being a bit overweight isn’t helping either. This is a huge problem. Help! -Alice

PS: I’m typing this from the laptop sitting on my round belly. It sucks!

Dear Alice,

You are in luck! No need to worry about using your old and antiquated laptop to browse the web.  There is a new invention and it’s called the iPad. Now the iPad is usually a device used by poseurs and douche bags in order to seem sophisticated and hip, but in your case it can actually be a useful gadget.

The iPad is light enough so you can rest it on your belly or the bed (or anywhere, really), and only browse with one hand while having the freedom to enjoy a nice chocolate bar or bag of chips with your other hand. Also, since it has no physical keyboard, you can never get bits and pieces of food in the device, so you can keep browsing while rummaging through your fridge.


The Sarcastic Sage

P.S. If you find this advice particularly helpful, I would not mind being gifted an iPad of my very own.

Would you like terrible advice? Why not ask the Sarcastic Sage.


  1. Ipad can’t play Flash games!!!!
    That makes it Useless!

  2. Actually not one but of sarcasm them just some really good advice. I’ve had my pad for about a week and everything said is true!

  3. steve kirchberg

    You people are totally missing the sarcasm in the response. What I’d like to is can the original poster also jog and exercise while using the ipad?

  4. nightingale801

    Baaahaha her problem made me playfully die of boredom while reading it and your answer resurrected me haha Oh and your P.S. :D Oh yes, you are not alone,there are so many men out there that wish exactly the same thing and for each gift they receive or restaurant visit or trip they believe and feel that their value is increasing (in the meat-market:) or they feel that They finally are being recognized for what the really are!*Open your eyes people!!!* I really hope that she will give you that gift so you can see what happens in your brain:) it will be very interesting:) and it is easy just close your eyes and imagine:)

  5. To Steve above: I think the more important question is: can she jog and exercise period?

  6. There’s also the added benefit that with the iPad, one is less likely to suffer from ‘fat-finger syndrome’. Those poor people.

  7. Say, how big is the screen…just wondering if it’s big enough so that when Alice’s eyesight begins to fail will she still be able to see the titilating brain droppings we leave on blogs and facepages and twit pages? And, does it have sound so when she looses her eyesight completely will it speak to her? Hmmm…great marketing angle…

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