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Sometimes it’s just about timing

Written by Sarcastic Sage on November 10, 2010 - Comments (4)

I have been stalking this guy on Facebook for the past couple of weeks. Let’s call him, Ken (like the doll). I like as many of Ken’s statuses as I can and write on his wall whenever possible. On the rare occasion he comments on my activities I try and pass hints that I have feelings for him by saying things like I want to marry him and have his babies. I also suggest sexual fan pages to him, like “I’m doing me…LOL jk, I’m doing you. ;)” However, most of the time I get no response. I don’t think he’s that into me but I really do like him. He is beautiful in his own special way, kind of an alcoholic, and obsessed with a really dorky show. Every time I see him I just want to hold his hand and I just wish he could see that. What do you think I should do? -A Creepy Girl In Love

Dear ‘Creepy Girl’,

Love makes us do crazy things, and in your case it has turned you into a Facebook stalker who is sexually harassing her stalkee. Based on the description of your relationship, I would say that the reason that you are not having any success with him is that you get your timing wrong.

You mentioned that he is an alcoholic and obsessed with a television show, so there are very few lucid moments that you can take advantage of to get across to him that you are  into him, and would like him to be in you. To be successful in your quest, will require a detailed study of his habits so that you can catch him at a time when he is sober and not preoccupied with his television show.

Good luck, and let me know how it goes.

Sincerely Yours,

Would you like terrible advice? Why not ask the Sarcastic Sage?


  1. Isn’t it obvious? He totally would have un-friended and blocked her if he didn’t like her. So clearly she’s getting through to him!

    I’m sure he’s just about to call and ask her out… any minute now… the phone’s just gonna ring… and it’ll be him… soon, very soon…

  2. Well, first of all: ‘I want to marry him and have his babies’ that is creepy but understandable, I call it the tyranny of evolution. She is not to be blamed because she is just doing what her body tells her. But she could try listening to her mind. . . *now & then*

    She also doesn’t know the true meaning of holding someone’s hand and that is why what she wants is an illusion that can be perceived as threating, scary for the receiver of her action. Consequently eh let’s go to the next point

    Love doesn’t make us do crazy things LUST does:D but you ‘ve got to know the true meaning of love(not the one colored by the tyranny of evolution, the reproductive urge)

    and when I read this one: ‘that you can take advantage of to get across to him that you are into him, and would like him to be in you’ well, finding the time is never an issue, because if you really really want something then the universe conspires and voilà ~ yeah, life can be magical ¤.¤

    was my comment sarcastic enough?

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