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Obama Picks New Head of Middle East Operations

Written by The Sarcasmist on July 9, 2010 - Comments (6)

President Barack Obama has picked Marine Corps General, James Mattis, to lead the U.S. military efforts in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan and the Middle East. General Mattis is an accomplished soldier, and very aggressive, based on some of his previous statements.

“You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years, because they didn’t wear a veil,” Mattis said. “You know guys like that ain’t got no manhood left anyway. So it’s a hell of a lot of fun to shoot ‘em.” (2005)

With leaders like this on the ground, it is a surprise that the U.S. military is not making better progress in the Middle East. You would think that someone so well spoken who cares about women’s rights, and has the rare gift of bloodlust, would be the perfect commander.

Of course liberals are complaining about his appointment. But Robert Gates, the Secretary of Defense, defended the general saying, “he hasn’t said anything similar since.” Apparently Mattis was also told to watch his words in public; which is something his mother should have done—talking to him about the difference between the ‘inside voice’ and the ‘outside voice’. This was all five years ago, and he seems to have matured a lot during that time.


Comments

  1. He’s a Marine not a Soldier.

    • If he’s not a soldier, he can’t be a marine. A marine is a soldier.

    • owned! LOLZ! :D

    • American service members are divided amongst Soldiers, Marines, Airmen, and Sailors, for the branches of the Army, Marines, Air Force, and Navy. A Marine can be a Soldier only in the sense that a Marine is always a Marine, even if he or she then joins the Army and becomes a Soldier.

      S is correct.

    • The American army can make up new definitions as much as it wants, it’s not going to change a thing. The actual definition is that a marine is a soldier who operates on land or sea, even in American English. Obviously the Sarcasmist intended to use the correct definition, because he didn’t capitalise it like you and S did. I don’t mean to confuse anyone, but therefore S is wrong even when we assume he is right.

      I propose another, newer definition: A soldier is a casualty.

  2. wow, ladies and gentlemen – At least we can be sure, he’s not going to make the same mistakes that the last guy did.

    They should release these kind of things with a warning, horror content – not for the weak at heart.

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