Sarcasm ahead!

The Sarcasmist

Ellusionist.com - Online Magic Training Center

Children’s Vulnerability to H1N1 Tied Directly to Pharma Stock Prices

H1N1-LogoSurprisingly, new government studies confirm that children under the age of 9 will need two doses of the H1N1 vaccine in order to be fully protected against the virus. Thank God our government is not bought-and-paid-for by the pharmaceutical companies, otherwise they might have only given us just the one dose!

The H1N1 virus has so far killed 1,000 Americans and infected a estimated total of 5 million! That is a 0.02% mortality rate. That is much higher than the 7.7% to 8.9% peaks of the mortality rate, of the regular flu, during the past three flu seasons (CDC). This is horrible. The H1N1 virus must be stopped. Forget the regular flu which has a 40 times higher mortality rate.

Despite the great efforts of the government, I think they are still lacking in their response. They want our children to survive on just two flu vaccines?! It’s time for an uprising. We must demand that our children be injected with more of these drugs, no matter how positively it impacts the drug companies’ stock prices. I say we need at least half a dozen flu vaccines before we can feel safe. In fact, they should pour that stuff into the water system so we can also bathe in it.

15 Comments to Children’s Vulnerability to H1N1 Tied Directly to Pharma Stock Prices

  1. Mikel on The Sarcasmist Mikel
    November 2, 2009 at 9:34 pm |

    Amen.

  2. Pieter on The Sarcasmist Pieter
    November 2, 2009 at 9:49 pm |

    Um, sorry to say but whomever calculated this mortality statistic is wrong… If 1000 people die out of 5 000 000 (5 million) that gives you a mortality rate of 0.02% and not 2%.

  3. C on The Sarcasmist C
    November 2, 2009 at 10:15 pm |

    Seriously, 0.02% not 0.2%.
    You just have to move it over one more decimal place.

  4. DoktorJ on The Sarcasmist DoktorJ
    November 2, 2009 at 10:36 pm |

    Who needs an immune system any more. I sure don’t. I get every vaccine on the planet and pop antibiotics every day with my vitamins, supplements, and colon cleansers. Fuck yeah! I’m as healthy as a mule, only get sick about once a month and never died, despite the deadly nature of the flu, and the common cold, and all the radioactive cancer medication I take, just in case. You can never be too careful!

    • November 3, 2009 at 2:06 am |

      Umm… I know you’re being sarcastic but vaccines and antibiotics and so on aids the immune system. They can’t work if there is no immune system.

    • November 3, 2009 at 2:45 am |

      Fuzzy, I find you amusing. If you -know- he’s being sarcastic, why do you even bother writing what you did?

  5. November 3, 2009 at 5:05 am |

    This is why I refuse to get my son vaccinated. The vaccine has been created in less than 2 months, so there is no possible way any long term tests have been done. I would rather risk 3 days of being sick than any complications from the vaccine. Most deaths occur from complications of the flu, such as pneumonia, anyway, not the actual flu itself. Besides, there is way too much medication for every ache and pain that is SO unneeded. Has anyone seen the commercial where you can take a pill now to make your eyelashes bigger and thicker?

    • Lin on The Sarcasmist Lin
      November 3, 2009 at 5:17 am |

      Stephanie,

      Big Pharma IS taking advantage of this situation. After losing billions when menopausal women were told to stop taking Hormone Replacement Therapy, the needed to find another big money-maker and H1N1 seems to be the ticket.

      BUT, you are minimizing H1N1. If you are an asthmatic, the seasonal flu stays in the upper parts of your lungs, which are easier to keep cleared through coughing. H1N1 settles deep in your lungs and, for that reason, is a terrible virus for asthmatics, especially those who have daily uncontrolled asthma.

      It is also not a ‘3 day’ illness. A friend had confirmed H1N1 and she says that it was 7 days IN BED and another 7 before she could go about her daily activities without extreme fatigue. She coughed until she thought she fractured ribs.

      Just sayin’!

    • SuperMom on The Sarcasmist SuperMom
      November 3, 2009 at 6:48 am |

      The vaccine is created the EXACT SAME WAY as the seasonal flu shot, the only difference is which flu dna is put into it. Even non-risk people have died from it. At my house there are 3 asthmatics and one person with renal failure….we will be getting the vaccine….

      Please do the research before making decsions on ANYTHING. I did; with the health issues at my house, I must!

    • SuperMom on The Sarcasmist SuperMom
      November 3, 2009 at 6:49 am |

      Sorry, I meant died from H1N1, NOT the vaccine.

    • November 3, 2009 at 7:05 am |

      Yes, and I believe high risk people SHOULD get the vaccine, such as people with MS, MD, Crohn’s, etc. My son does not have asthma, however, and I refuse to be scared into a vaccine that does not have any long term studies. I also know several people who have had it, and one girl was back to elementary school in 3 days. It depends how one’s body handles sickness. The article even states that the regular flu is 40 times more deadly than the swine flu. I do not believe in treatment for all sickness. My son was improperly treated over his life for “ear infections” (his ears just do not vibrate well). He now has a slight immunity to amoxicillen and can no longer take it if he developed a serious infection. Did I mention he isn’t even 2 years old yet? Medicines and immunizations are not always the best way to go, and if others want the vaccine, that’s great. My husband and I, however, will pass this year. Next year, if it continues to be a problem, we will reconsider.

  6. Don Mitchel on The Sarcasmist Don Mitchel
    November 3, 2009 at 5:38 am |

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1676296/
    There is still time to let the Coast Guard know your feelings on the movement of large amounts of water by ships up taking ballast water and discharging it as the glaciers melt.

  7. Charmin' Harman on The Sarcasmist Charmin' Harman
    November 3, 2009 at 7:05 am |

    Though some can get very ill with the H1N1, the vast majority of people experienced such mild symptoms, eg: general maliase lasting a few days, that they may not have realized is was the swine flu. Also, Fuzzy, antibiotics, when overused, do cause a depressed immune system and vaccines, in those who are susceptible, have been linked to auto-immune conditions. Granted, you need an immune system in order for it to be destroyed however…..

    Anyway, I have concluded that all this swine flu hysteria is just plain ol’ hogwash!!!

    • swine flu on The Sarcasmist swine flu
      November 3, 2009 at 7:41 am |

      Amen! Yes, it is a problem to people with depressed immune systems, but so is a simple cold. One girl got swine flu so mild, it’s possible for her to get it again. I am hoping to create a pill for hypochondria in the future….I should make millions. I will call it placebo.