10 Signs You Might Be Too Fat
1. You have to hold in your stomach to fit into your own skin.
2. You can’t see your own shadow with the setting sun shining on your back.
3. You don’t have to cut your hair anymore; fat just grows around it.
4. You constantly breathe heavily because breathing itself is a strenuous task for you.
5. You use speech recognition software to ‘type’ because you can’t press fewer than 4 keys at a time.
6. You have to ‘clean’ yourself by dragging your butt on the carpet because you can’t reach it with your hand.
7. People think you are Asian because your eyes are almost shut closed from the bulging fat around them.
8. Your ‘car’ has been retrofitted by solid tires to withstand your weight.
9. You belong to the Food of the Hour club.
10. You have been cast in the remake of Star Wars as Jabba the Hutt.
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These are stupid.
is it because you fit quite a few of these signs?
Nope, it’s just cause they’re stupid.
They are stupid. I expect some form of wit in my comedy. Unfunny.
You’re stupid! This is sarcasm… Learn!
11. People in Mcdonalds/Burger King/KFC look at you with fear whenever you enter, knowing that you’re gonna eat everything in sight.
12. Stewie Griffin follows you around with a tuba.
13. When you’re told to “haul ass,” you have to make 20 trips.
The manager of the local all-you-can-eat Chinese food buffet starts to cry when you walk…or roll…in.
bahaha!~~ Nicee!
Trufax. I had an ex that was actually kicked OUT of a Chinese Buffet.
“you eat too much, you go nao!” the waiter said to him.
“you okay though, you can come back.” he said to me. XD
I think I pissed ‘em off when I brought my husband years later, who is like, a beanpole, and ate MORE than the fat guy did.
15. Shell employ you and your high-heeled shoes to strike oil
16. You create your own orbit.
17. Your left pectoral stomach roll has its own Reservation of Native Indians.
is number 16 from Family Guy? hahaha I love that one!
Shell employs. It doesn’t employ. That one also is missing punctuation.
Yes, Mike, you are completely correct, punctuation is a very important part of a sarcastic reply. Bravo my friend, bravo.
Mikel,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCxEqKzRxnA
When I opened this site, what is probably a very vicious virus tried to open, claiming it was antivirus software and my computer was infected. I don’t know if it’s somehow attached to this page or what, but I thought I should warn you.
Thanks for the warning, but that’s actually a little virus floating around that redirects you to upload a trojan. It’s everywhere,(failblog, icanhascheeseburger, etc) so watch out.
18. You can’t find any doughnuts in your size
That one’s just fabulous.
19. You hopelessly read through the list trying to find a sign that does not describe you.
No no no, these are REALLY stupid.
Some of the comments had funny signs. Not sarcastic, but I enjoyed a few.
…is what you reply to this list as you die on the inside knowing they are true.
when you wear a yellow shirt, people yell “Taxi! Taxi!”