Eat in the middle of the night, be fat

A new weight and food-intake study has concluded with highly unexpected results. It seems that not eating or munching on crap throughout the night can help fend off weight-gain as well as a bunch of other health issues.

Researchers at the Salk Institute in La Jolla “have come up with something that is a simple alternative to calorie counting.” Satchidanada Panda, the lead researcher of the study used a bunch of mice to compare the effects of eating late at night or munching and snacking throughout the night.

Panda and his team put groups of mice on different eating regimens for 100 days. Animals in two of the groups dined on high-fat, high-calorie chow. Half of them were allowed to eat whenever they wanted, and nibbled on and off throughout the night and day. The other mice had access to food only for eight hours at night, when they were most active.

In human terms, this would be rough: No ice cream while watching “Glee.” No second glass of wine while talking things over with the spouse. Not even a late-night glass of warm milk. (Los Angeles Times)

So it seems that if you starve yourself for 16 hours out of the day, that you’ll be able to maintain a healthy weight, especially if the hours during which you starve yourself are those during the day during which you are least active (like your metabolism).

So with the knowledge gained from this revolutionary new research, you should be able to lose all that unwanted weight. Just stop gorging yourself on cheesecake and chips in the middle of the night as you sit in from of the television watching an episode of Seinfeld for the 27th time.