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Sunscreen Can Kill You – What?!

Written by The Sarcasmist on May 28, 2010 - Comments (11)

For once I wish scientists and researchers would make up their minds about what is good for humanity and what is bad.

The EWG (Environmental Working Group) recently tested the safety of 1,606 sunscreens and found that 3 out of 5 offer “inadequate protection from the sun or actually contain toxic ingredients.” (Discovery)

The genius behind sunscreen manufacturers only becomes apparent when such information is revealed. Who else would think to protect against skin cancer by using poison? The rays of the sun never expect poison when they get to your skin. In their shock and bewilderment they scatter about and we avoid skin damage and cancer from the sun. There is, however, a small kink in this technique. It turns out that the poisons in the sunscreen can actually kill you.

Comments

  1. That which does not kill you…well, will eventually be found to kill you.

  2. My husbands cousin died from sunscreen. In an effort to save him the doctors removed his jaw. This worked for about a year but he spent his last days having people be afraid to look at him.

  3. I hate to break it to you, but we’ve been accepting poisons as protectants for a long time. We spray pesticides on our crops that have skull and crossbones warnings all over them,douse ourselves with sanitizers, and take pharmaceutical drugs that kill people every day. I guess it’s okay if we’re dead- as long as we’re sanitized!

    • Brilliant that by using poisons in everyday items-like sunscreens and hand sanitizers- that it would cancel out the affect of each other. Too bad that it is one of those things that stops one harmful thing by harming you in another way…

  4. Yeah, and what of flouride? Ever research what it is? Yet it is in almost EVERY toothpaste on the shelf. The box even has a warning not to swallow the toothpaste. DUH, we’re putting it in our MOUTHS. If it’s harmful WHY are we putting it in our mouths? OH! It’s OK to put poison in the mouth, as long as you don’t SWALLOW IT! No wonder humanity is brain dead.

    • I can’t safely say I’ve never put flouride in my mouth, because I don’t know what it is.

      Fluorine and fluorides on the other hand….

      Did you know that in sufficient quantities, water is toxic?
      One of the most dangerous substances on the planet is oxygen. Too much of it and you can overexert yourself -to death- by sleeping.
      Not to mention Nitrogen. You know that stuff’s carcinogenic, right?
      Carbohydrates are extremely flammable, and we eat them all the time.

  5. Sunscreen is very dangerous stuff. Anything that can deter you from looking your best cannot be good for you. Having a tan is awesome, it speaks volumes about your personality, adventurousness, and general social skills.

    If you are pale, it works against you. It tells the world: “I avoid the sun, I avoid people, I’m scared to go outside.”

    • An Onery Mouse

      Your statement is proven by the exalted social status of Oompa-Loompas all over the world, as well as most members of that elite subspecies of human known as “New Jerseyans”.

      The only exception to this rule is Conan O’Brien, whose unfortunate paleness is the single flaw in an otherwise perfect body. Yet he endures.

  6. its only sum sunscreen…. sunscreens dat contain nanoparticles, these nanoparticles are so small that it can get into your inner body and blood system, squezing its way thru the skin cells and stuff… if it doesnt say on da container that it contains nanoparticles then you can atleast make a judgement call by looking at opacity of the sunscreen…… if its clear…. then they probably used nanoparticles…

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