1. You spend most of your time online correcting spelling errors without ever contributing anything substantive to the conversation.
2. You ask for the manager when you realize the $0.99 soup you ordered doesn’t live up to your standards.
3. You comment on Facebook status updates before reading the entire post.
4. You keep complaining about how there is nothing to watch on TV, yet the only programs you do watch are COPS and Dr. Phil.
5. You are Dr. Phil.
6. You are on Jersey Shore (the TV Show, or the actual place for that matter)
7. You wear sunglasses indoors, and at night.
8. Your pants are on the ground.
9. There is no room in your trunk because it is full of speakers.
10. You drive a $100k car but never have enough money to get a full tank of gas.
Sarcasm ahead!
10 Signs You Might Be a Douchebag
10 Signs You Might Be a Douchebag
You can follow all the replies to this entry through the comments feed.
Useless Advice by the Sarcastic Sage
SO F-ING TRUE.
you drive a 100k car but cant afford to put rims on it, or buy wiper fluid
Putting rims on almost any car makes you a douchebag
What if you don’t want rims? I don’t think my parents would spend money on rims. And they can afford it.
@quickey…I mean Quiche, unfortunately my father has spinners on his buick rendezvous. Douche Bag Deluxe.
11. you ARE a Douchebag
11) You wear a ski hat, indoors, in the summer and when you’re not skiing.
12) You wear anything Ed Hardy
13) You’re Ed Hardy
14) You’re Colin Ferrell
15. you quote verbatim a plot point of a Family Guy episode without attributing properly.
FARRELL!! Im a douchebag..and what?
Ed Hardy was actually not a Douchebag….Christian O’Douchier bought his name and douched it up…
10. You think your windshield is going to be good for $100, but your wife’s purse costs $536!
You expand on a list of 10 by adding a 10th entry.
You spend 10 minutes in a fast food lineup in front of a gigantic illuminated menu and when it’s your turn, you can’t decide what you want.
Yes.
And then you get mad at the worker when they ask you to step aside while they help the next person.
So true on so many levels.
wow this is gay.
How is it gay?
Did you see it having gay sex with other top 10 lists?
11. You’re a homophobe.
12. jaf is a homo.
13. You use homophobic slurs because you’re insecure with your own sexuality
14. Being self rightous and unable to recognize humor.
15. You believe that only homophobia can explain gay insults.
16. Too stupid to realize the word “gay” has several meanings.
17. If you take things out of context for your own agenda.
you have an argument/insult contest in a thread meant to be funny
18. You use the word “agenda” to justify being a douchbag to anyone!
19. If you’re anyone else but me. I’m awesome!
20. You insult others though random unfunny ‘10 signs’ lists by adding another 50 different things and think your just so cool because of it.
11. You may be a douchebag if you don’t order your 10 list in descending order.
It said “10 signs”, not “Top 10 signs”, therefore it was counting. Do you count things by starting at 10? I would say that #11 is “being you”, however pointing out this insignificant piece of incorrect information just makes you an idiot, not a douche.
The Sarcasmist January 29, 2010 at 1:00 pm |
∞ You expand on a list of 10 by adding a 10th entry.
LMAO!
bong
You’re Kanye West.
or if u have any relation to kanye west or lisen to him
HAHAHA…pants are on the ground. Oh man, I can’t get enough of that song and everybody and their mother singing, quoting or referencing it. HAHAHAHA…funny.
i don’t really understand why people likes the show, Jersey Shore.
tied with #1 – the act of 1st! 4th! 23rd! etc comments. paaaaaaain
You might be a DB if…
…you get awesome service and tip less than 20%
…your ape-hanger handlebars are longer than your arms.
To each and everyone of you that commented on this, just please die. You aren’t funny, cute, or clever. So just shut up.
There’s obviously a fine line between sarcasm and stupidity.
@ SOFFISH: And by virtue of your comment, that now includes you as well. Aren’t you clever!
11. You have a nozzle attachment.
@Jordan, one need say no more.
You devote your limited lifespan to lording over the endless douchism from an ivory tower, feeling unassailable because nobody knows who you are, where you live, or what you’re going to do to change any of the shit you’re so much better than.
Aww, dear offended uppity Carol. Did the aliens forget to remove the anal probe? Again?
Thanks Lady Twain, I couldn’t word it better myself, (or couldn’t be bothered)
11. You are a liberal
12. You voted for Obama and are not ashamed of yourself
… you constantly rip on people who voted for Obama cause you can’t stand that a Democrat one the election again.
… you can’t recognize that you are part of a major mistake that has further crippled an already weakened economy.
… you use “one” when you meant “won”.
- you insult/flame on a social networking site, or other comment-based forum, particularly over politics and with very bad grammar and spelling.
1. You spend most of your time online correcting spelling errors without ever contributing anything substantive to the conversation.
Bib’s a douche.
Bib <3 Bob. Forever.
Nate…go back and read #1.
You are a true douchebag if you bash Obama in order to appear politically smart.
I think you’re pretty much a true douchebag if you do anything to appear politically smart. ;)
obama sucks
You think Obama is a socialist.
I’ve always wondered why people call the Democrats left-wing in the first place. They are economically right-wing and socially authoritarian (though not as much as the Repubs).
how about you own alovely expensive car, yet you have a really run down council house. f-ing douche!!!!! lol