10 Interview Answers You Should Avoid
There is a time and place for sarcasm. While in an interview, you should probably avoid it.
A: In your seat
Q: Where do you see yourself five years from now?
A: It certainly is not for the money and the fact that I’ve been unemployed for 3 months.
Q: Why do you want this job?
A: You mean other than hitting on coworkers?
Q: What is your greatest weakness?
A: Testudian.
Q: How would you describe the pace at which you work?
A: How to answer interview questions.
Q: What do you find as being the most difficult decisions to make?
A: I can tell you what they don’t criticize me about…being too sarcastic.
Q: What do people most often criticize about you?
A: How dare you ask me a question like that?! I am really not an angry person.
Q: When was the last time you were angry, and what caused it?
A: Based on the level of regret I have after waking up next to a one-night stand.
Q: How do you evaluate success?
A: I take trips all the time. (As you wink and smile)
Q: Are you willing to travel?
A: I’d have to go kill myself. How else could go on living?
Q: What will you do if you don’t get this position?
Loading ...
#6 is awesome :)
Indeed ;)
#4… I am definitely stealing that. :)
Grammar needs to be looked over.
(Ending a sentence with a preposition)
Yep, the word “over” in that sentence is obviously an adverb, not a preposition. I’m sure your heart was in the right place, though.
Is it a bad thing that I got a job saying 3 of these in an interview?
Walmart, huh?
who were the other applicants? undocumented migrant farmers?
# 11. & 12. Q- Do you have experience performing menial and repetitve tasks?
A- Yes
Q- How did you get this experience?
A- Have you ever tried to get a 4 yr old to play something besides tic tac toe and go fish?
Just to good!!
I thought the answer to #12 would be something like, “Ever been to an interview? …Good times.” ;)
Q: When was the last time you were angry, and what caused it?
A: When I found texts on my husbans phone from another woman and I smashed his window out of his SUV causing him to hit a tree and I continued to beat the shit out of him with a 9-iron! I mean, if you have employees out of control, I am the supervisor for you! :)
#13 What can you bring to the job that no one else can?
Myself.
Excellent! However, I’m sure there’s someone out there who would be capable of forcibly taking someone to a job. I’m assuming the service wouldn’t be cheap, but it would still be available.
So stealing that for a job I don’t really want. XD If I ever lose my current job, that is…
Q: Why did you leave your last job?
A: They frequently frowned upon my chicanery.
A: Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I would. There is no pleasure more satisfying than to witness the humiliation of people forced to allow me watching them urinate. This job is even more exciting than the one I came here to apply for.
Q: Are you willing to take drug tests.
A: Sorry, I don’t speak Bocce. But that blue li’l droid over there seem to understand most binary languages. Do you often converse with water vaporizers? You seem s little dried out.
Q: …umm, no. I ment if you would mind if we tested you for drugs in your system.
Fourth from the top answer should have been “testudinate”=totoise-like
Any decent employer would disqualify you for using the improper word for the adjective, testudinate, rather than for your incredibly slow work pace…LOL !