Dow Closes Above 11,000 – Time to Rejoice
The Recession is finally over. The magic number of 11,000 has been reached by the DOW.
This is fantastic news, since everyone knows that the health of the U.S. economy is tied directly to the activity on the Dow. If the DJIA is moving up, it must mean that the economy is just going gangbusters.
Now that the recession is over, it is time for the U.S. consumers to get out their credit cards and start spending once again. It is crucial for the recovery that there be no saving of money, and that every penny earned is put back into the economy; not only that, but people should also perform their patriotic duty and put a few thousand dollars on their credit cards. Consumers are also advised to not buy anything that is not going to become obsolete within a few months, because the economy will need another boost soon.









oh of course! thats brilliant, why didn’t anyone think of that before…I mean all those times in history where there have been recessions! I mean…..wait……hmmmm….this sounds familiar..
great, nothing that will go obsolete in a few months?
No iPad for me, then. :-(
To not buy stuff that is *not* going to go obsolete in a few months – so buy 4 iPads, 4 Microsoft Tablets, and 4 HP Slates; then you’ll be on your way to becoming a patriotic consumer once again,
Right, oops. Hey, great, I can buy out both Apple AND Microsoft. I am so unbelievably patriotic.
Not just the US, but the whole world should rejoice, because America is of course the only country that matters.
well of course! the whole world should be in awe of our multi-trillion dollar debt! talk about doing the impossible!
Ah, I know a few countries that can keep up… with debt as a percentage of GDP. Why, screwing up seems to be the new rage, and that is just wonderful!
Dig deep, brothers and sisters. Every dollar spent on useless sh*t is a vote for freedom. Onward to victory!
Oh sweet! I won’t have to forclose on my house and sell my SUV, camper, and boats! Yes! :D:D:D
I’m so glad we have the Sarcasmist to inform us of useless news and information that isn’t real, and if was, would be all over the TV, radio, etc.
Yeah, that 10 minute segment on the Today show about it this morning was just practicing for if it really happens…
I’m just glad we have people like you who only look for information that is real on the internet and even then find a site like the Sarcasimist to provide it for you, etc.
I’m glad YOU keep up on your news, because I think that everyone reading this thread was just blown away by your superior insight.