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Oh Joy, Unemployment Above 10%!

Written by The Sarcasmist on November 6, 2009 - Comments (7)

unemployment-above-10-percentWorry not my fellow Americans; the government is on top of things. Those of us educated in the perfectly predictable science of economics know that the government is on top of things and will curb unemployment when the time is just right. They have good reason for doing the things that they do; for example, we have been hearing over the past few weeks how the stimulus is creating jobs (even though it apparently is not). This ‘white lie’ is to help make the general population feel better and get them to spend the monies that they have started saving after the shock of the recession and the bursting of the housing bubble. Because as any economist knows, saving money is a terrible idea and that is what leads to personal economic instability.

Aside from that, now that the unemployment rate is above 10% the government will unleash its political and legislative tools to put a quick end to this problem once and for all. And if you don’t believe me then just look at what President Obama said.

“I just signed into law a bill that will help grow our economy, save and create new jobs and provide relief to struggling families and businesses,” Obama said in a statement delivered in the White House Rose Garden.

“The need for such a measure was made clear by the jobs report that we received this morning. Although we lost fewer jobs than we did last month, our unemployment rate climbed to over 10 percent, a sobering number that underscores the economic challenges that lie ahead,” he said. (Reuters)

Oh, phew! We are saved! Now that a bill has been signed everything is going to be ok.


  1. Bah… I bet he just created the Americo… now we are truely fucked…

  2. Yay the bill. We are all safe!


  3. Saving money isn’t the same as hoarding money. Being prudent with money isn’t the same as being stingy and overprotective with money. Just a reminder.
    Excuse my lack of a sarcastic tone.

    • Mads Liljendahl

      It may not be, but if money aren’t spent, it won’t enter the economic cycle, but rather represent a value that has been taken out of said system. If said money, taken out of said system are put into a savings account (in a bank that is more likely to declare bankruptcy, faster than Kanye West will falsify Darwin’s theories), they won’t be spent, which will lower the demand of certain wares, which in the end will mean more cut-downs and firings of businesses that rely on money spent by consumers (which is pretty much any industry.. Maybe short of banks offering savings accounts.. Oh wait.)

  4. Oh yes surely we should all bow down and worship him for saving us from this great disaster. He has truly paved the road to solving this problem by putting his name on that bill. I’m sure…

  5. This man is nothing more than a whore, he’s just doing his damnedest to hop in bed with everybody lately. Tell you lies, screws you, doesn’t leave a kiss.

  6. Oh yea, socialism to the rescue! Obama we save us all. Now that he has saved our entire economy from crashing down upon itself. The next step is to bring peace to the world. Then all of a sudden the whole world will breaking into song, swaying back and forth holding hands. Now that would be the world that I want to live in!

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