It seems that no living being is immune to swine flu. It has been reported that a cat in Iowa has been tested positive for the H1N1 virus. This obviously is a foreshadowing of the end of times. This disease discriminates not. Whether you are man or beast, you are in danger of contracting this virus and being uncomfortable for a few days (in most cases). But let’s get back to the matter of the poor cat.
With this new revelation, it is imperative that the government and pharmaceutical companies redouble their efforts to get even more vaccines on the market to stop the rising pet swine flu pandemic. Human can fend for themselves but the poor pets are helpless against this evil disease.
…the case is prompting the association, along with the American Association of Feline Practitioners, to remind pet owners “they should monitor their pets’ health very closely, no matter what type of animal, and visit a veterinarian if there are any signs of illness.” (Washing Post)
So for the love of God, please keep a close eye on your pets, especially cats. And even more importantly, keep your children away from your pets. They might get sick by contracting the swine flu virus brought home from school or the playground.
OH MY GOD! NOT THE CATS! NOT THEM! WHY GOD ARE YOU SO CRUEL?!?! TAKE ME! TAKE MEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL Art. Your comment made me pee a little.
Why? Because God is a dog.
And he hates cats.
This is all a fucking business for some intelligent people who manipulate stupid people and make them believe these kind of shit and spend money on medicine……
Oh crap, my cat sneezed, hurry everyone get your safety masks and call the ambulance. We all need to rush to the emergency vet. Lets put the poor thing down before he suffers horribly from the sniffles and has to take medicine for a week!!
The swine flu does not exist.
haha well done. kudos for a very complete and logical statement.
You don’t exist.
Lena I hope you know this swine flu ISNT something to joke about? Its worse than it was back in 08. As for the animals, poor them.
mooooron.
I caught “swine flu” from one of my friends, and it lasted two days and was no worse than the common cold.
Upon research I found that swine flu has fewer death rates than the regular flu, AND it has the exact same symptoms as the regular flu.
This leads me to believe that the swine flu is in fact just the regular flu, and they are just trying to make money off of unnecessary vaccines.
Do some actual research and find out for yourself, rather than furthering the media-driven pandemic.
OMG am I going to die because that lazy slacker maid who runs my house could possibly bring home a disease. I need to go to my country house wait a minute I am already at the Versailles, never mind let them eat cake!
Complete with a smack at the current U.S. health care system, sarcastic comment of Apocalyptic proportions, and the Lolz-catesque picture, this has got to be my favorite Sarcasmist post yet. Keep up the good work!
Whats funny is the fact that H1N1 hit us in 1918. It killed between 50 and 100 million people worldwide, infected 1/3 of the population of the earth, yet it got no media attention because it would damage morale. Except Spain decided to write about the epidemic. Therefore it was commonly known as… the Spanish Flu.
Actually, the 1918 influenza pandemic was a completely different strain of H1N1.
You, AND your first commentor, need to read the book called Flu (Nonfiction, not sure of the author). It dives into the search for what made the disease so deadly, and the general history of the Flu…
If you read this, youd know more about it, and know that the 1918 influenza was NOT H1N1, that term is only describing how the virus is built, its not a general term for all flues. AND, it was called Spanish Influenza, NOT because the spanish wrote about it, but because everyone believed it had originated in the Spanish countries.
I could go on, but I havnt read the book in 2 years… I should find it at my library and read it again, itll be interesting to compare to todays flu.
You guys are arguing about the science and history of the flu on a website dedicated to sarcasm… Brilliant.
Wow… the number of ignorant comments on this thread is amazing. Josh, Lori, Lena… you really have no idea why zoonotic diseases are actually a threat, do you? BTW, Iowa has some of the most reputable research in the country thanks to the Vet school and the doctors there. This isn’t a con, and those of you in your teens and 20’s will be hit the hardest. Hope you like vomiting, diarrhea, & high fevers with possible hallucinations. Good work, sarcasm society for masking a danger to people by making fun of a report about a single cat.
True, but somebody has to find the humor in everything. Are we all supposed to take everything so seriously and live like robotic sheep? I think not. This H1N1 virus isn’t all it’s cracked up to be anyhow. Sure it can kill you, but hey, so can everything else on the planet if you analyze it enough. Truth is more people die every day from the common flu or from smoking or drinking and driving but there’s no big hype about that now is there? It’s a pandemic actually though, not an epidemic, it is of a global proportion. Then again so is aids and we all know how that hype came and went with the 90’s. Maybe all those conspiracy theorists are right, maybe it’s a giant hoax by the US government to inject you with something that they just tell you is the vaccination for H1N1.
I say I’m going to sit here in front of my pc naked and laughing hysterically with a sense of humor the whole while because in the end it all doesn’t really matter now does it?
Kitteh!! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! D:
agreed!!!! =^-^= mya!!! :3
You know Jet I do look forward to it. Do you have any idea how much I’ve spent in the pursuit of hallucinations? If I knew all I had to do was contract the flu I’d have been out there sniffing used tissues.
You all make fun now but when bodies are piled in the streets and the cat’s are too sick to kill the mice and rats you’ll be wishing we had vaccinated them.
I’ve had novel H1N1 and I can declare with complete authority that it truly sucks. Got pneumonia from it, but fortunately I’m old and don’t have any comorbidities (other diseases for the unwashed masses).
It is entirely, completely new (hence the whole “novel” thing) – a mixture of Swine, Avian, and Human flu, And it’s killing pregnant women, children, and young adults. It’s real, it’s not a conspiracy, and the vaccination is safe. And does not contain tracking devices – one of the more inane conspiracy theories I’ve heard.
It often kills *because* it’s new and your body will go in to high gear to fight it. Just like when people die from bee stings…they don’t die from the venom, they die from the body’s immune system response. Because it’s so new, your body will go after it with guns a-blazing.
yeah i live in a relatively small town of 30.000 and we’ve lost 2 children under 15 years old to h1n1
Luckily all I have to worry about is foot-and-mouth disease.
ill take the hallucinations….
just about all ppl who have died with swine flu have also had other medical problems, not just because they had swine flu..
TimBitz thats fukn awsome i laughed so much reading ur post :-)
if u cant laugh about things then what is the world coming to??
No we r not laughing at the ppl who have died, we r just saying dont take life to seriously coz in the end we will all die of something neway so deal with it
Yeah, this strain of H1N1 is hitting people very hard. My secretaries kids both have it and one is hospitalized now over it.
I think I caught the early strain of it last year. Man, if it’s the same bug I can attest to the hallucinations. Very scary indeed, seeing visions of an upcoming apocalypse followed up by a civilian warzone over territory.
The “visions” were all too real! Not a trip I’d want to take again… I should have been hospitalized but alas, I think I’d much rather die than succumb to the cost of uninsured healthcare!
Hey Jet, I go throught that on a DAILY basis any how with Fibromyalgia and its cocktail of overlaping conditions….so your preaching to the chours line!! As for this flu……..Alll the other flues have been circling our globe forever, and its funy how these other illnesses such as “swineFLU” do not. if it truly was a flu y did it not continue its cours from the 1800’s instead it disapears and comes back when humanity is desprate for a direction and an answer, and what better way then to turn to our governments and renew our faith cuz they HAVE the answer……sound messed to me!!!!! And why is it the creator of the vaccien whont ALOW himself or family to recive it…. Did you know over 300,000 were inoculated the last time around and 28,000 ended up with sever brain disfunction or death!! So if people need to laugh at life just to make it liveable sooooooo be it !!! Some times its all u got!!!
NOOO! Not the cats too! THE CATS MUST LIIIIVE! THEY ARE THE ROOTS OF THE NEW CIVILIZATION AFTER 2012 KILLS THE HUMANS OFF!
Im not even kidding. >.> I love cats. I want to live in their new kingdom….
And in case you all are wondering, No, I dont believe that H1N1 is going to destroy the world. I just think that its going to weaken the world and the governments funds enough for something else to come along and do away with us…
LONG LIVE THE CATS! THEY ARE THE SUPERIOR BEINGS!
And I probably missed some apostrophes and spelled crap wrong and did too many caps and etc too, so HAH! I beat you spelling/grammar people to it! Now you cant nitpick my post.
Oh yea… and I do have to make a note that cats CANNOT take our vaccines. They will not work for them, and could possibly kill them. They need to make vaccines specifically for cats. Its the same principle as for why cats cannot take human medicine, or dog medicine, and why dogs and humans cant take cat medicine… And dogs and humans cant take each others medicine…
Its hard and confusing when you have to explain every piece so that no one tries to pick at it by being all like “u no that dogs cant take our medicine too?”
Not the kitties!!!!!! My two kittens have had respiratory issues since their birth in NYC in February. OH NO!!
My uncle won’t leave his house because he’s elderly and paranoid he’ll become ill. His life is over because of self-imprisonment. People, wash your hands with some soap and water and get outside already!
For all the worried people out there, I have an update. I live in Iowa and I just read in the newspaper (yes the newspaper lmao) that the cat was treated and has made a full recovery from the H1N1.
Thats fantastic :)