1. You poke your family, instead of saying ‘hello’, when you get home.
2. You only know about birthdays of your friends and family because Facebook tells you about them.
3. You are a fan of so many pages that you spend most of your day reading the updates instead of doing anything else.
4. When away from Facebook you get annoyed because you can’t find the ‘Like’ link on people and things.
5. You keep refreshing your Facebook home page hoping for new updates from your friends.
6. You insist on instant messaging people, who are on your AIM list, through Facebook.
7. You change your profile picture several times a day.
8. You don’t have anything to talk about with your friends and family, because you read about every detail of their life on their status updates.
9. You click ‘Like’ or comment without reading the status update.
10. You spend most of your day at work tagging people in pictures.
10 Signs You Might Be Addicted to Facebook
Meteorologist Sues Local News Station After Being Laid Off
A Los Angeles television station is the defendant in a suit brought by a former weather person. The suit claims that the meteorologist, Raymond N. Ornaught, performed his job and did not provide false or unreliable information to the station’s viewers; however, the station manager vehemently defends his decision to terminate Mr. Ornaught, saying…
“All he did was say there was 50% chance of rain. He did this every single day. When I confronted him, he said he was not doing anything wrong. He said that ‘there really is 50% chance of rain–it’ll either rain or it won’t’. We had no other choice but to let him go.”
Anti-Gay Republican Senator Tired of Missing Out On Being Fabulous
In a shocking revelation, republican state Senator Roy Ashburn admitted to being gay.
The admission came after he was arrested on suspicions of drunk driving near a gay nightclub.
Even though he is distraught over the fact that his personal life has spilled into his life as a public servant, he is said to be relieved he was not arrested near a zoo. The senator also continues to assert that his personal views and life do not, and will not color his sworn duty to represent his constituents.
“I felt my duty – and I still feel this way – is to represent my constituents, not my own point of view, not my own internal conflict,” (nydailynews)
He is no longer planning on running for Congress, and intends to spend his time on being fabulous.
Anti-Abortion Activist Admits Being an Abortion Doctor
"What's a hypocrite?"
In a shocking revelation, one of the staunchest anti-abortion activists in the United States has admitted to being an abortion doctor.
Ian A. Bortt, the leader of the largest anti-abortion movement in the US was seen, by one of his activist friends, coming out of an abortion clinic which remained suspiciously unexploded. After further investigation by the witness it was revealed that there was no shooting inside the clinic either. This eventually led to a confrontation, instigated by the witness, which resulted in a public admission by Dr. Bortt about his long-standing career as an abortion doctor.
Dr. Bortt was quoted as saying, “This is just my job, and has nothing to do with my moral values and stand against abortion.”
Study Finds That Rich People Are Better Off
Money Good!
A new socioeconomic study has revealed that rich people have far more money than the blue collar workers and families. The study concentrated on the disparities that exist but often go unnoticed during day-to-day life. Some of the findings of the study include:
- - A rich person is much more likely to serve caviar at a cocktail party than an hourly home improvement store worker.
- - Rich individuals or families are more likely to survive a car accident due to the numerous safety features which are usually found in high-end European (and Japanese) luxury automobiles.
- - The rich are much more likely to live in multi-million-dollar mansions; however, not as domestic service personnel.
- - Children with rich parents have access to better education.
- - The rich tend to pick exotic vacation destinations as opposed to the nearest hotel with a swimming pool.
The full report will be released soon, and is said to be full of valuable information for sociologists.
The team who will be releasing their findings is already hard at work developing their next project, which is designed to determine whether there is a direct correlation between higher income and a more substantial savings/retirement account.
Useless Advice by the Sarcastic Sage
