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Funny New Year Quotes

Written by The Sarcasmist on December 31, 2010 - Comments (1)

In no particular order

– “New Year’s Day…now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” -Mark Twain

– “May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!” -Joey Adams

– “An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” -Bill Vaughn

– “Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let’s just wish each other a bileless New Year and leave it at that.” -Judith Crist

– “New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.” -James Agate

– “Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.” -Oscar Wilde

– “People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.” -Author Unknown

– “He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool.” -F.M. Knowles

– “Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year’s resolution.” -Jay Leno

– “New Year’s resolutions are like opinions, they both tend to make you look like an asshole.” -Sarcasm Society

One Comment

  1. F.M. Knowles makes the most sense.

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