Top 10 Groucho Marx Quotes
Groucho Marx
10. From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
9. A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
8. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
7. I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
6. I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
5. She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
4. I didn’t like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions – the curtain was up.
3. I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
2. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
1. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
You forgot his best: “Women should be obscene and not heard.”
Groucho is awesome.
You – the moon – the moon and you – wear a necktie so I can tell you both apart. My favorite
No his best (oh, we could do this all night) is:
“A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.”
@ Joe: There he was quoting Kipling. “A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.”
lloll
Why forget “Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana!”
How about “I’d like to welcome you all here this evening, it’s a gala night. And a gal a night is too much for any man.”
It’s a gala day (spoken by Margaret Dumont). Then Groucho replies with the joke.
“Those are my principles. If you don’t like them, I have others.”
“You can’t fight in here! This is the war room!”
Peter Sellers, “Dr. Strangelove”
A toast to our wives and girlfriends. And may they never meet!