Top 10 Groucho Marx Quotes
Groucho Marx
10. From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
9. A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
8. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
7. I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
6. I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
5. She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
4. I didn’t like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions – the curtain was up.
3. I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
2. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
1. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
I don’t know perhaps you could suggest something? But you do suggest something. You suggest a Baboon. But I apologize, it’s not fair to the rest of the Baboons -gm
omg! to # 7 i love it!
when hosting “you bet your life”, he had a contestant who had borne some huge number of children. 18 i want to say. “i love my husband” was all she could come up with.
“i love my cigar too, but i take it out once in a while”
What about: “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.”
Duck Soup -
I married your mother because we wanted children. Imagine our surprise when you came along.”
And how about this line to Margaret Dumont (the gist, anyway) –
Your voice reminds me of you, your eyes remind me of you. Your hair reminds me of you. In fact, everything about you reminds me of you, except you. How do you account for that?
On “You Bet Your Life” to contestant “so, how many kids do you have”
Well Groucho, we have ten kids, I love a big family” Groucho, “Wel, I love a good cigar too, but I take it out sometimes”
Duck Soup:
Rufus T. Firefly(Groucho) about Mrs. Teasdale (Margaret Dumont)
“Remember, you’re fighting for this woman’s honour, which is probably more than she ever did. “
“I’m not superstitious….I’m just mediumstitious.”