Our fastest held beliefs and greatest scientific laws and theories have come undone by the discovery of God’s fossilized remains in the highlands of Armenia, in the vicinity of Mt Ararat. The discovery was made by an international team of archeologists of varying religious backgrounds (including several atheists).
“The importance of this discovery is entrenched in the fact that it proves everyone wrong, believers and atheists alike. The believers and creationists are of course vindicated by finally having hard scientific proof of God’s existence, thus disproving the atheists; and the evolutionists and atheists can finally and definitively claim that there is in fact no God…anymore,” said, lead archeologist in charge of the dig, Dr. Noah Layman
Despite the infinite importance of this discovery, there is a problem that is sure to create an unprecedented amount of controversy. And that is the fact that scientists have not been able to reliably date the fossil. The current methods of dating fossils has proven inadequate, but it is believed that the fossil is at least 4.5 billion years old (as old as the Earth itself).
Also, despite immense pressure from numerous major religious sects, the scientific paper published regarding this discovery also states that there are strong indications that God was a woman.
Note: Unfortunately, this still does not solve the problem of creationism versus evolutionist theory because there is no way to prove whether life sprang into existence before or after the death of God.
i TRIED to tell ppl i really did.
I’ve always knew it was a she xD
May she rest in pie… er, peace. :D
God was a woman?? Well, that explains the platypus…a warm blooded mammal with webbed feet that lays eggs indeed…..
Nobody said the universe was perfect.
No wonder you can hardly find anything on this ‘news’. The discovery was found in 1992.
And is said to be 4.4 million years old, not billion.
+1 for f**ken saved
where did you find that info?
Sorry, but it is 4.5 BILLION.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_the_Earth
Darkmoonman.. did you really just reference wikipedia? Really??
Even if your information is correct you just lost the argument.
I find it rather hilarious that everyone is taking this seriously??? Its sarcasmsociety.com…
Darkmoonman, do you not understand English? Andrew was saying that the fossil was 4.4 million years old, not the Earth. He did not even mention the Earth in his comment. You should not jump on people without double-checking what they are saying.
Actually, evolution explains the Platypus (transition between reptiles and mammals).
And all this time I thought he had fled to Argentina.
I always thought god was a dinosaur.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJIpK8xURBk
So it’s been proved, Nietzsche was right all along!
Of course he was, Nietsche was always right even when he contradicted himself.
Never mind all that. You’re missing the pertinent point: Armenia and Turkey will now be going at it again over who gets the remains, and the Armenians will claim the Turks committed theocide, and the Turks will threaten to kill all the Armenians, again.
if anybody finds another fossil of billions and billions years old, will it be called god again? what qualifies the found fossil as god?DNA? Compared to another creature?
God was a WOMAN!!
That’s why no-one ever wins an argument against God. That explains it. And also you are not supposed to comment on the defects in creation.
First of all if God turned out to be a woman, I swear I would not be surprised. We actually need to be WAY more concerned with the steadily decreasing reliability and effectiveness of todays common “man”! Secondly, everyone becomes some sort of expert when it comes to carbon dating, evolutionary theory, and religion. It DOESN’T matter people! We are going to f*ck the world up or blow it up before Jesus, Budda, Mohamad, or Barney the purple dinosaur even has a chance to come back and punish all us sinners. Cheers! :)
YeeeeHaaaaaw!!!!
Really then we all are saved .But really can they confusing eve with god?Must be the crown and the Chalice? Show me the proof and I will be the first to change my ways until then I’ll stay the course.
eh either way its proof that us Catholics have been doing things right and morning our fait! God is dead…. well…. lets just keep doing things the same way
One common flaw people often find is that Carbon dating is not 100% accurate, far from it. It gives a general age for most things and doesn’t take into account that oas fossil could have had a propotionally higher or lower % of radioactive C-14 as opposed to stable C-12 and C-13 than is taken to be the average amount for any organism, thereby scewing the results. Carbon dating is only one of many analytical dating techniques.
I’m sorry, you can estimate how old the fossil is, but how can you PROVE its God? you can’t. maybe its Adam? or maybe its all a joke. MADE YOU LOOK!
so where are the pictures
4.5 BILLION……Whew, that’s a relief, I misread it and thought it was 4.5 MILLION……….
god is a spirit, he doesnt have a gender. he has no reason to reproduce.