Eat yogurt. Get bigger balls.

New research, by a team of researchers from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), has shown that mice that eat yogurt have balls that are 5 percent heavier than those of mice which are fed a regular diet.

Interestingly enough, unlike most other highly useful studies, this one didn’t start off with a goal of creating big-balled mice, but rather it was supposed to put to test results from a Harvard study which suggested that yogurt helped prevent age-related weight gain.

The study by the MIT team also revealed that the yogurt-eating male mice knocked up their partners faster, and the female yogurt-eating mice gave birth to larger litters and had greater success in weaning the pups.

I hope that by just mentioning this here I’ll have some sort of common law patent on it, so I call dibs on the idea of making underwear for men with a yogurt reservoir—if eating yogurt can help you be more manly, imagine what dipping your fellows in there, all day long, would do.