Society
Anti-Gay Republican Senator Tired of Missing Out On Being Fabulous
In a shocking revelation, republican state Senator Roy Ashburn admitted to being gay.
The admission came after he was arrested on suspicions of drunk driving near a gay nightclub.
Even though he is distraught over the fact that his personal life has spilled into his life as a public servant, he is said to be relieved he [...]
Anti-Abortion Activist Admits Being an Abortion Doctor
In a shocking revelation, one of the staunchest anti-abortion activists in the United States has admitted to being an abortion doctor.
Ian A. Bortt, the leader of the largest anti-abortion movement in the US was seen, by one of his activist friends, coming out of an abortion clinic which remained suspiciously unexploded. After further investigation by [...]
The ACLU Demands Politically Correct Terminology
In its latest attempt to rid America of any type of political incorrectness, the ACLU has released the latest list of acceptable terms for use when referring to members of the American population.
Ghosts: Corporeally Challenged Americans
Vampires: Anemic Americans
Werewolves: Anthropomorphic Americans
Genies: Lamp-dwelling Americans
Centaurs: Quadrapedic Americans
Giants: Generously Proportioned Americans
Cyclops: Monocular Americans
Bigfoot: Generous-footed Americans
Dragons: Fire-breathing Americans
Sandman: Soporific American
The End of Racism
This has been a long time coming but scientists have finally created a vaccine that cures racism and any type of prejudicial tendencies that people may have. The breakthrough occurred when the vaccine was able to completely shut down any mental processes that require decision-making based on experiential learning and learned experiences (learning through the [...]
Look Ma, I Knows Grammar!
I have been put to shame countless times by the Internet grammarians who are ever so vigilant in their efforts to put an end to sloppy spellcheckers and grammar ignoramuses run amuck.
I wanted to take time to apologize for my irreverence towards these kind souls who roam the Internet selflessly correcting all of us who [...]
Useless Advice by the Sarcastic Sage
