Society
Mom Sues Cable Network: My Baby Won’t Breastfeed
In a snafu, a major cable network accidentally beamed previews of adult shows onto kids programming. This has resulted in a lawsuit, which is something the network expected; however, the allegations and damages being sought came as a surprise.
“Mrs. Bobbie S. Agsia is asserting that while watching a children’s show with her infant, the adult [...]
Carpooling: A Thing of the Past?
In a new proposal, an environmental group, The Green Apocalypse, is suggesting that the World’s attention can only be drawn to the impending climate crisis by inducing the crisis in order to get people into panic and hopefully into action.
“We have been trying to get people to pay attention to scientific evidence, but we are [...]
Anti-Gay Republican Senator Tired of Missing Out On Being Fabulous
In a shocking revelation, republican state Senator Roy Ashburn admitted to being gay.
The admission came after he was arrested on suspicions of drunk driving near a gay nightclub.
Even though he is distraught over the fact that his personal life has spilled into his life as a public servant, he is said to be relieved he [...]
Anti-Abortion Activist Admits Being an Abortion Doctor
In a shocking revelation, one of the staunchest anti-abortion activists in the United States has admitted to being an abortion doctor.
Ian A. Bortt, the leader of the largest anti-abortion movement in the US was seen, by one of his activist friends, coming out of an abortion clinic which remained suspiciously unexploded. After further investigation by [...]
The ACLU Demands Politically Correct Terminology
In its latest attempt to rid America of any type of political incorrectness, the ACLU has released the latest list of acceptable terms for use when referring to members of the American population.
Ghosts: Corporeally Challenged Americans
Vampires: Anemic Americans
Werewolves: Anthropomorphic Americans
Genies: Lamp-dwelling Americans
Centaurs: Quadrapedic Americans
Giants: Generously Proportioned Americans
Cyclops: Monocular Americans
Bigfoot: Generous-footed Americans
Dragons: Fire-breathing Americans
Sandman: Soporific American
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