10 Signs That You Might Be An Idiot
1. You type ‘there’ when you mean ‘their’.
2. You press the already lit elevator button.
3. You get two pizzas, both half cheese and half pepperoni.
4. You get confused by the Starbucks cup sizes.
5. You think that cats are smart because they are aloof.
6. You are a self-professed vegetarian who eats fish.
7. You have a nervous breakdown when asked to not use the word ‘like’ so often.
8. You send out your resume on cute stationery.
9. You think you are saving money by buying things you don’t need during a sale.
10. You blame all your failures on anyone but yourself.
I hate it when people say something like:
“before my Mother died she told me this”.
What, like she may have told you that AFTER she died?
the person whose mother died might not have already told the other person their mother was dead. OR they might have meant on their deathbed.
Please do not use the word ‘like’ so often.
Barbara…actually, it’s quite possible and common for someone to deliver a message AFTER they pass! Sometimes those are the BEST messages.
oops there is the “like” thing LOL just pulling your leg, I push the lit elevator button all the time. ;-)
When people say that, I always want to ask, “How long before she died did she say that? Seconds? Minutes? Weeks? Years?” Because if it wasn’t minutes or seconds before death, the impact isn’t the same. I mean, she could have said that back in 1965 at a backyard barbeque and you just overheard it. It’s just not the same. If you’re gonna make statements like this, you better get your dates straight.
I also dislike the excessive use of like. I’ve even heard people use the following type of construction “I like things like raspberry jam”. Well, give that a raspberry.
Number 11. You write stationary when you mean stationery.
Prove it! (fixed)
HAHA!
Priceless!!!!
You wrote “write” when you meant “wrote”.
Actually, having used “write” rather than “wrote” was proper English. The sentence was written in the present tense (You write stationary when you mean stationery), not the past tense (You wrote stationary when you meant stationery). The post was meant to be an addition to the list, not just a correction. =)
I found that both a teacher of English as a Second Language and the person in charge of Stationery at a local college here in Birmingham, UK, used stationary when referring to stationery. Somehow, a good symbol of the degrading of education standards under socialism in Britain.
You split infinitives, as in the phrase, “…when asked to not use…”
NICE!
If you don’t realize that split infinitives are perfectly acceptable, if rare, constructions and instead hold to the notion that they are grammatically incorrect.
The split infinitive rule is a throw-back to the 1500′s when grammarians did everything in their power to get English grammar to emulate Latin grammar. In Latin, you see, you CANNOT split an infinitive because the infinitive was attached to the verb.
Let’s take Spanish as an example. “He is going (to talk) to her.” (infinitive in paranthesis). “Va a hablar con ella.” Hablar means “to talk”. The “ar” at the end of the verb is an infinitive that cannot be removed in this sentence. “Va a habl con ella ar” comes off as complete nonesense.
English, however, is not a Latinate language like Spanish, but rather a Germanic language. Because our “infinitive [sic]” is not attached physically, it can be “split”; the meaning will be quite clear to native speakers.
There, they’re, their…idiots!
Very cute/funny/correct!
You actually read this list to see if you passed the test. If you’re still reading this comment then you definitely are!!
#6 annoys me SOOOO MUCH
You’re NOT a vegetarian, you ass, you’re a PESCATARIAN
Don’t make me KILL you
/rant
Or Vegetarians who value the lives of animals so much more than humans that they threaten to kill other humans. That is all.
What I hate so bad, is my boyfriends ex-wife who claims she is a vegitarian, and then eats places like KFC and McDonalds. It buggs so bad when I hear her tell her kids that they shouldn’t eat an animal because there life is just as precious as ours while she is eating a bacon cheeseburger. So we have come up with a name for people like her. Pickiterian.
Eating fish is vegetarian? What tree do they think fish grow on?
…or self-righteous vegetarians who wear leather shoes, jackets, etc!
kt, you wrote there when you meant their……
Some vegetarians abstain from meat for environmental reasons. Factory farming is leaving terrible scars on the environment and yields little food for all the energy that is put into creating it. Leather is biodegrable and is much more durable than cotton or hemp.
#6 says ‘self-professed vegetarian, meaning the idiot in question calls themselves a vegetarian, when they are, in fact, a pescEtarian (emphasis on the correct spelling). this is what makes them an idiot, rather than the creator of this list. misspelling ‘stationery’ is what makes the list’s creator an idiot ;)
thanks for playing!
Yo! Plants have feelings too. Besides plants never intentionally harm humans like animals do.
It’s as though fish have it coming, but cows don’t. Must be the blank look in their eyes.
Every eaten fish is a life lost for just one meal. A cow can feed a family for days, if not weeks!
11) The author of this list becomes an idiot by default for misspelling the word “stationery”.
12) You feel superior by catching a spelling error.
HAHAHAHAHA. awesome #12.
hahahha suck ;)
You constantly correct someone on common grammatical errors that no one actually payed attention to in English class, like “Splitting Infinitives.”
paid*
payed.. haha
You get bent when someone ends a sentence with a preposition, as if that’s worth paying attention to. You probably also say “between you and I” because you think it sounds superior.
Didn’t you know a preposition is a terrible thing to end a sentence with? Also, if you claim rules don’t matter just because you didn’t pay attention in English class.
paid
Been There – especially idiotic when the person who feels superior doesn’t realize the phrase ‘between you and I’ is incorrect and should be ‘between you and me’.
The half cheese half pepperoni is hilarious…
Other signs…
Selling your car for gas money…
Recipe for ice taped to your refrigerator…
When people say I’m half Italian, half Portuguese, half Native American
If a larger person says that, I always ask, “What about the last half?”
I always think the 3 halves thing is hilarious!
Maybe they were half joking?
Clearly the person is “half fast”. That’s the other half.
the punctuation belongs inside of the quote, not after it.
that was meant for jenna.
and barbara.
-You fail to use correct grammar, while insulting other’s grammar. *
-You don’t use capitals.
YES! Thank you!
actually, unless there is a sentence in quotations within a sentence, the punctuation goes on the outside of the quotation marks. (since everyone is bashing everyone else…..)