Gabby’s Hair
There has been this huge controversy about Gabby Douglas’ hair (she’s the teenager who has won two Olympic golds, in women’s gymnastics), and if you haven’t heard, you are just too consumed with the athleticism of contenders and are not paying enough attention to more important stuff like how the athletes have chosen to wear their hair or the color choice of their uniforms.
I’ve tried to keep my mouth shut about this, but I’ve had enough with these idiotic headlines about Gabby’s hair. All the headlines try to sugar-coat the horrible condition her hair was in when she won the two gold medals, instead of just tackling the problem head on. How can we as a country grow if we can’t even exercise our first amendment right to criticize our athletes for their looks. If you ask me people are being too soft on her. So what she won a couple of gold medals, for which she has been training most of her life. She has bigger obligations when she is on the world stage, and that is to make sure she looks good for the cameras.
Gabby Douglas – Two Time Olympic Gold Medalist
You’ll be comforted to know that there is at least someone close to Gabby who is concerned about her hair, namely her mom. In an interview with the website fashionista.com Gabby’s mother, Natalie Hawkins, admits that Gabby’s “hair problem” has come up before.
“I started hearing about (her hair) earlier this year actually. I started trying to be proactive about her hair before all of that happened. What is funny is I had someone come do her hair before the Olympics. We put all this effort into getting her hair done and they still didn’t like it!”
In the interview she also said…
“At this level in her career, hair is somewhat secondary. It was actually her coach who told me that. I was trying to get her into a hair appointment and I wanted to move her training schedule around and he said to me, ‘She’s beautiful. You don’t need to change her hair. We need to focus on training. Hair is secondary. We make time for that after training. Don’t mess with my training time.’ ”
Freakin’ coaches! Who is he to tell Gabby’s mom how to raise her child? Hair is important! Everyone knows that, so why would he get in the way of Gabby being ready for the World stage in every way. Just because the Olympics is a test of her athletic prowess, it doesn’t mean she shouldn’t take time away from training to make sure her hair meets the expectations of the public.
I just hope she gets her act together.
I was almost sick when I read this article.
She’s a disgrace.
There could have been incredibly neat children watching!
Um don’t be mad cause she can bend and win and you can break and be a big fat ugly loser don’t get on gabby get on yourself
lol at person who commented on your post and cannot spell anonymous.
How dare you, Gabby Just won two gold medals and your worried about her hair? You are just jelous. I bet you were at the olympic trials, and didnt make it… shame. I just hope YOU get YOUR act together.
I smell a liberal moron trying to write. Whatever you were trying to do with this article….you failed.
Listen Jo don’t Gabby Douglas is a very important Role Model in the African American community. She also made way for the younger girls in the African American community and she tells us that we can do anything if we put our minds to it. And boo you are a disgrace.
This is a response for the people who happen to be flipping a shit over how “rude and shameful” this article is.
Sarcasm: It. Means. That. You’re. Not. Being. Serious.
It’s not that hard of a concept to understand and if you really didn’t get it, then please just look at what this website is called. Maybe you’ll realize that these people are being sarcastic. They’re actually standing up for Gabby by ridiculing those who are trying to bash on her for trivial reason.
S-A-R-C-A-S-M
It’s a pretty great literary device.
Do us all a favor and learn it.
I totally agree with you Jo! Now gabby has totally lost the respect of us incredibly neat children. How ever can she fix this mess?
;)
Everyone!!!! Calm the freak down!!! Jo was being sarcastic too! Jo was making fun of the article by saying that Gabby was ruining the minds of the incredibly neat children. Re-read the comment and understand what it’s saying.
1] The athlete’s hair and uniform color choice is more important than their athletic capabilities?
2] Gabrielle Douglas’ obligation when on the world stage is to look good for the cameras?
3] Apparently a world class coach was dictating what time was allotted for personal grooming, the coach wasn’t saying it couldn’t be altered – but that it needed to be done on time other than when they were training. This in no way is informing Gabrielle’s mother as to how to raise her child.
4] You hope she gets her act together?
please do not procreate – and if you have then remove your children from your care
1) You’re an idiot
because
2) This is satire
and you should have known this because
3) The title of the website is “The Sarcasmist: The Sarcasm Society” (not to mention the ‘duh’ factor inherent in the article content)
so basically
4) Read what your effing source is BEFORE you make an idiot of yourself.
Actually, just stop commenting. The net’s already polluted enough.
Calm down Anna, you’ll give yourself a coronary.
I guess it’s too late to mention my post was also being sarcastic… while also appearing blatantly insensitive… my bad for acting such a fool on a sarcastic site xD
what did she ever do to u she can do way more things u . U probably cant get off the caotch .. WHILE SHE IS DOING BACKFLIPS in the air winning gold metals and the only gold u have is the on in ur tooth form eatting gunk food so thanks for letting me comment i hope i made u happy gabby dont listen to them let ur haters be ur motavaters love u gabby
Amy, reread it and pretend there is a sarcastic and humorous tone to it. Gabby’s hair is truthfully not the subject of derision here – it’s directed at the other sites that ridicule her hair. The author of this post is taking a comical jab at other sites that post ridiculous things :D
Am I right, Anna?^^
You are an idiot, whoever wrote this is an idiot! Gabby just won two gold medals at the Olympics and all you can think about is her hair! Let’s see you win two gold medals at the Olympics! We all know you are just jealous of her. All the gild are wearing, there hair like her, and you choose to single just her out, RUDE! Her hair is like that bc of her ethnicity, so you are being racist! OMG I HAVE NEVER MET SOMEBODY THIS STUPID AND ALL THE COMMENTS, OMG UTS RIDICULOUS! GET A LIFE! Hey Jo you are a disgrace!! She is amazing and gorgeous! GO GABBBYYYYYYYYY! Screw all you hatersss
Uh. Gee. You just made me re-assess my whole outlook.
The above statement is an example of sarcasm. Does this help at all, Devon?
Devon! Calm the freak down!!! Jo was being sarcastic too! Jo was making fun of the article by saying that Gabby was ruining the minds of the incredibly neat children. Re-read the comment and understand the humor.
There is a reason this is called “The Sarcamist”. You all are idiots. Go fuck yourself.
*yourselves :)
This is not sarcasim! This is plain and simple negativity, to anna you bloody idiot too if u think this is in anyway sarcasim, go fk urself maybe u get sarcasim
. . . Maybe we all thought that it was sarcasm because this website is called, “The Sarcasmist”. But no, it’s not like something like sarcasm could ever exist in this society. Everybody is clearly being terrible, negative people with an incapability to spell.
Dear Terri Ann,
You are in need of spell check, a dictionary, and a brain.
With love,
Everybody.
PS. Yes, I’m mean.
Gabby has accomplished two gold metals this far in her life… what have you accomplished?
Wait, you have this site which we should all applause you for!!
-Esmee
if i was gabby i’ll forget you the haterz and come on she has gold medals, she’s on a cereal box, she’s the 1st ever blak girl to be there so her hair is the first thing they goto. seriuosly?
“it’s ugly.”
“she should do it!” Well if you want her to do it then do it for her ok if you so worried and I agree Esmee. :)
Oh Anna. It’s just you and me that get it then?
This article has created quite a conundrum. Who is more stupid? The people who write articles complaining about her hair or the people who spend time writing angry comments attacking satirical articles complaining about her hair. Is righteous indignation more idiotic than superficiality or is it just more unpleasant?
But, in the end, if Gabby had kept her hair straight, we wouldn’t be in this mess. She is damaging the American reputation for strict adherence to the crassest forms of materialism. The Supreme Court should strip her of at least one gold medal.
This Article is unbelievable! This girl (Gabby Douglas) was not trying to impress any of you at the time, she was focusing on accomplishing something!
Deep breath, honey. This is sarcasm. :) Don’t worry about it. The article is actually taking a stab at people who DO criticize things like her hair. Seriously, though, take a deeeeeep breath.
I enjoyed this article very much :)
Thank you for sticking up for Gabby in your sarcastic way.
Lol