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Mom Sues Cable Network: My Baby Won’t Breastfeed

Written by The Sarcasmist on March 17, 2010 - Comments (39)

In a snafu, a major cable network accidentally beamed previews of adult shows onto kids programming. This has resulted in a lawsuit, which is something the network expected; however, the allegations and damages being sought came as a surprise.

“Mrs. Bobbie S. Agsia is asserting that while watching a children’s show with her infant, the adult programming came on showing women with unnaturally immaculate breasts, which has now resulted in her child refusing to breastfeed since her own breasts cannot compete with the ones flashed on the children’s television show,” said Mrs. Asia’s attorney.

“My child thinks I am a monster!” said Mrs. Agsia, sobbing.


  1. now that is excellent. How old is the child to make that assessment? 12

  2. this is an interesting thought into a childs mind i wounder what willl come of this law suit

  3. The child is less than a year old since it says there that it is an infant.
    LMAO though.

  4. oh, Sarcasmist, how, in this political and economic climate could you possibly have run completely out of material. and you obviously have, if you are printing this.

  5. give me a break!!! is this woman for real? like a baby knows the difference between a c and a double d. stupid people shouldn’t breed!!!!!

  6. oh come on!!!!! Talk about trying to get money quick? This woman is a gold digger and that’s all this is about.

  7. If this lady is suing over this, I am going to sue over Hershey Kisses looking like extra pointy nipples, therefore, giving my 8 yr old an unrealistic expectation of what REAL nipples look like.
    This is just “DUH”

  8. this is quite hilarious

  9. Hooray opportunism!!!

    Better not show the kid any large penises cause then he may not want to take a piss.

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