Society
The ACLU Demands Politically Correct Terminology
In its latest attempt to rid America of any type of political incorrectness, the ACLU has released the latest list of acceptable terms for use when referring to members of the American population.
Ghosts: Corporeally Challenged Americans
Vampires: Anemic Americans
Werewolves: Anthropomorphic Americans
Genies: Lamp-dwelling Americans
Centaurs: Quadrapedic Americans
Giants: Generously Proportioned Americans
Cyclops: Monocular Americans
Bigfoot: Generous-footed Americans
Dragons: Fire-breathing Americans
Sandman: Soporific American
The End of Racism
This has been a long time coming but scientists have finally created a vaccine that cures racism and any type of prejudicial tendencies that people may have. The breakthrough occurred when the vaccine was able to completely shut down any mental processes that require decision-making based on experiential learning and learned experiences (learning through the [...]
Look Ma, I Knows Grammar!
I have been put to shame countless times by the Internet grammarians who are ever so vigilant in their efforts to put an end to sloppy spellcheckers and grammar ignoramuses run amuck.
I wanted to take time to apologize for my irreverence towards these kind souls who roam the Internet selflessly correcting all of us who [...]
Legal Costume Upsets Illegal Immigrants
It has recently come to the Sarcasmist’s attention that there are vile profiteers who are trying to legally profit from the controversy surrounding illegal aliens in the United States. These ‘businessmen’ have designed a Halloween costume that is making illegal aliens feel bad.
The vitriolic impact that freedom of speech and expression is having on illegal [...]
Idiocy Levels Unaffected Despite Shorter Stories
There is a growing movement of people using the term ‘long story short’ appropriately. In recent weeks there have been growing reports of long stories being shortened in order to save the listener’s time.
As is the norm, people use the phrase ‘long story short’ as a tool to make up for their boring blather and [...]
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