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The End of Racism

Written by The Sarcasmist on November 19, 2009 - Comments (24)

No more racismThis has been a long time coming but scientists have finally created a vaccine that cures racism and any type of prejudicial tendencies that people may have. The breakthrough occurred when the vaccine was able to completely shut down any mental processes that require decision-making based on experiential learning and learned experiences (learning through the experience of others).

Dr. Phawt Shance of University of the Philippines and Dr. Gull Able of Paris University are the innovators behind this paradigm-shattering discovery. This vaccine is poised to change the World as we know it.

Dr. Shance and Able’s scientific paper did, however, include warnings about the side effects of the vaccine which include the complete loss of emotional experiences.

To quickly and effectively eliminate all traces of racism, the vaccine (which is taken orally) will be put into the water supply of major metropolitan areas, followed by suburbs and eventually the countryside. The UN hopes to have 99% of humanity inoculated by the end of 2012.

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Comments

  1. I think this was a movie… equilibrium… didnt go well everyone gets killed shocker.

  2. So this is where the zombies will come from

  3. Loved that movie. The killing was soo good.

  4. Don’t you mean Dr. SHANCE????
    Wait a minute… If he took off his glasses, wouldn’t he just be Dr.Shane? xD

  5. Fat chance… Who is that gullible LOL

  6. Ah.. That was a sly joke to put in there. Good one, Sarcasmist.

  7. So is this how the Myans predicted it? 2012?

  8. But how are they gonna select who to give it to?
    Which race is the most racist?
    Or just give it to all white people? All black people?
    Because that isn’t at all racist and would instantly solve the problem =)

  9. Like previously stated – After 12/21/2012 (according to the Mayans), it won’t matter much anyway. I wonder if that space station…(you know the one that’ll be operated based on that tiny splash of water kicked up by the recent accident on the moon) will be up and running. They’d better tap into that water supply as well…lmao!

  10. I loved the names – written in true “book never written” form lol I also really liked the part – “the vaccine was able to completely shut down any mental processes that require decision-making based on experiential learning and learned experiences ” – that is exactly what you would have to do…there will unfortunately always be some racism for various reasons. We just have to, as individuals, rise above it. Take it in stride, and work to prove that people from your own race (no matter which one it is) are great people too! Working to earn respect is the surest way to get it. The end of racism (or at lest an improvement) starts with you.

    • Wouldn’t it be easier if we just decided that everyone, from whatever race was a piece of shit?

    • Daniel’s way is better, yes. Equality doesn’t mean that we have to feel better about people, just the same. Look at what equality has done for women as an example. Men hate them now and they were put on a pedestal and treated like queens before. Besides, I already hate people of my own race, so I’m damn sure not going to work to make people believe they’re worth anything. And, the surest way to get respect is to beat it out of someone anyway.