The Starbucks’ New Offering Revolutionizes the Coffee Industry
Bigger is better!
The ever-wise product development team of the Starbucks corporation has come up with an ingenious new offering. It is amazing that Starbucks can still come up with new and innovative offerings. You must be wondering what this new food product might be. Is it a new flavor? Is it a zero calorie drink? Is it a new type of food item altogether? Not at all. The new offering from Starbucks is a new cup size for cold drinks: the Trenta (Italian for oil tanker).
The crafty researchers of the Sarcasmist have uncovered the secret behind the name of this new cup size. Many think that the name refers to the massive 31oz capacity of the cup; however, they could not be more wrong. The real story is a bit more sinister. It turns out that the ‘oil tanker’ reference is being used to refer to the customers and their body size after consuming a few of these new Trenta sized drinks.
A Starbucks spokesperson said…
“We are very proud of this new offering. Months of research and study of focus groups went into developing this revolutionary new cup size.”
Detractors of the coffee giant insist that the only time a larger cup size is always desirable is when it refers to women’s brassieres. Rumor has it that the ‘detractors’ are hired hands of Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, a major Starbucks competitor.
Competitors of Starbucks, in an attempt to keep up with the coffee giant, are said to be looking to start serving coffee in buckets.
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Buckets!?? Why not barrels?
will it be large enough to conceal my weapon ?
because buckets are easier to carry – barrels have no handles…
Indeed. I’d totally go for a keg of hot coffee every morning.
Pfft, real dwarves drink it right from the barrel.
The oil tanker refernce would logically make the smaller sized drink cup a barrel. How many barrels does it take to fill a tanker??
Coffee Bean already has a 32 oz cold cup. It just isn’t featured on the menu. I went in and asked for the biggest ice blended they have and they asked me if I was sure 3 times.
Tankers, buckets… whatever! The real trend will be IV espresso! No cups, no spils – right into the blood stream! OUCH!
Ouch! HOT HOT HOT ahhhhh…..
It may hurt a little but you get that wonderful morning buzz pretty quick.
yay, I’m in but only if it’s italian Lavazza
maybe its to poke fun at a previous discussion-
they were asked by a military wife group to send their coffee to the troops, and Starbucks replied that they would not as they do not support the war… now the tanker has made a debut.. hmm… ironic? no way
FYI, that is bunk.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/starbucks.asp
FYI, Starbuck’s has, and has always had programs for the military. You could purchase of pound of coffee, and they would send it to the troops, and now, if you buy their instant coffe, they donate the same to the military.
Please get your facts straight, before bashing!!!
Or try Green Beans Coffee. A good amount of their profit goes right to military groups that help military families. They give back because they want to they dont force their cusotmers to do it for them!
I think Halliburton has its fist gripped ’round the breasts of our beloved green sea cow.
I have a better idea. Why don’t Americans start working on getting more sleep so that they need less caffeine?
Because then there’d be less to complain about. Everyone knows that constant complaining is the mother of innovation!
No time!