USPS Financial Woes Caused by Letters to God
The United States Post Office is asking US citizens to stop sending letters to God. The amount of work that the handling of such letters is creating is resulting in a huge deficit in efficiency.
“We understand that need for people to communicate with their maker; however, in light of the severe economic stress that the entire country is under, we are asking everyone to refrain from sending letters to God. We are unable to deliver them anyway, as our trucks are not allowed into Heaven.” pleaded the Postmaster General.
The USPS hopes that its plea will not go unheard by the citizens, and just to be safe it has FedExed a letter to God asking him to stop the deluge of letters addressed to him.
Loading ...
You accidentally put “go God” instead of “to God”.
You’re welcome. ;)
Where? I don’t see it.
Thanks! :)
Letters to the devil are cheaper anyways.
Fedexed a letter to God…
Is Fedex allowed into Heaven because they are not government run?
God is a teabagger??
FedEx subcontracts to a local delivery service
What, aren’t they paying enough postage? Is Santa Claus next?
They’ve already quit accepting letters to the Santa man. I guess he was a bigger problem (considering that he was the personal God of small children everywhere).
I can understand where they’re coming from, I’m not particularly fond of getting post anyway. Most of them are complaints, or smite so and so for sleeping with so and so’s goat.
Oh, and FedExed letters are *not* allowed in heaven. Just to make that clear.
Wait, does that mean you can’t email him too? What about text? Does he have a Facebook page? Can I be a fan? Does he at least Tweet?
….No?
Well then…I suppose I could just pray….
Nah I deleted my facebook account because too many women were wanting to get a piece of me. I may be omnipresent but dear Me do you have any idea how hard it is to satisfy a thousand women all at once?
Dear God,
I’m just wondering if Tiger Woods is your special, special son?
Kudos on the capitalized “Me” God.
Dear Jeff,
Sorry I took so long to get back to you, I got stuck in a rather long meeting with Time. In answer to your question, no comment.
Love,
God
I think they should have a flat rate box for god
Letters to dog are far more effective and usually get results.
But Dog usually bites the guy trying to deliver the letters, so they stopped delivery there, too.
Nobody likes spam.
Best comment yet!