VIA – Ready Brew Coffee by Starbucks
All quotes courtesy of the Starbucks website
“Starbucks has found a way to offer a truly great cup of coffee that you can prepare by just adding water.”
Hmm, so you mean like instant coffee?
“We believe other instant coffees taste flat and lifeless. Starbucks VIA™ Ready Brew is different – it’s full-bodied and flavorful, just like the Starbucks® coffee you know and love.
I thought your customers were flat and lifeless (after paying $5 for a latte), but what do I know.
One of the headings on the Starbucks VIA™ web page reads “How Starbucks VIA™ Can Change Your Life”, and is followed by “It’s pretty revolutionary, when you think about it. With Starbucks VIA™, great coffee can be yours anytime, anywhere. A life-altering concept, with tasty consequences, to be sure. But with endless possibilities for enjoyment,…”
Revolutionary? Life-altering? Wow! And there are endless possibilities, it seems. Odd, I was under the impression that the only possibility was to enjoy a cup of coffee, but I’m sure the coffee scientists know better.
The kind Starbucks people have also gone out of their way to develop a guide about how best to enjoy VIA™.
“We’ve put together a handy little guide to help you answer that very question. Have a read through for suggestions on how to make the most of Starbucks VIA™. Then invent some yourself and share them here with us.”
I always want to pull out a guidebook for coffee making when I’m in rush and want to make instant coffee before dashing off to wherever I am going. Another giant leap for mankind.
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How could I LIVE witout it until now???
Oh mah gawd I must git dis kawfee nao!!! I’m alwyz n such a rush I cnt spel wurds rite!!!
It’s a bit ironic that as I read this there is a Starbucks ad on the side of the page.
Making Instant Coffee… for people who are too lazy or broke to spend 30 bucks and get a coffee maker that has a timer so that if they’re in a rush in the morning, they can actually grab a real cup of coffee!
$30.00 — that’s six lattes, kids. Seriously, think about it.
I guess The Sarcasmist still has to get paid.
The only coffee I can afford outside the stuff made at home at the Supermarket I work at. 99 cents and worth every penny.
Man, if I drank coffee, this would totally change my life. Crap, it’s changing my life just THINKING about it!
Oh, hey, thanks, Star
sucksbucks, for inventing instant – WAIT A MINUTE.Wow, Charbucks is not just a heartless, neo-chic, franchise with burnt Robusta beans, hipster douchebag cashiers, and over-priced marketing schtick…
They are a cultural zeitgeist!
I’m hurt. We’re not all hipster douchebags. Some of us just needed a job… And to be fair, they actually do give quite a bite back to the community. Have you actually done any research here, or are you just jumping to conclusions?
We’re just assuming that this is a sarcasm sight and are not only aloud, but expected to type scathing remarks. Let’s not turn this into another debate like the insurance company article.
yeah, enjoy your own cup and then come tell us new recipes so we can steal them off you to make more delicious creations that have never been seen before! So revolutionary…