Tag Archives: Animals
New Endangered Species Found
In a stunning discovery, zoologists have found a new species of mammal. The new mammal, which has been dubbed ‘sochi’ (after the person who discovered it, Dr. Socha Hox), is a small primate about the size of a ring-tailed lemur. Some are already calling it the missing link, a label that Dr. Hox strongly denounces…
“We [...]
Veterinarians: The Solution to US Healthcare Woes
In a bold move, Congress has introduced an amendment to the languishing healthcare bill which promises to revolutionize U.S. healthcare. The amendment calls for veterinarians to be granted the right to treat humans for minor ailments. This amendment is projected to save billions of dollars a year in healthcare costs. What is more, there is [...]
Forget the Women & Children, Vaccinate the Cats!
It seems that no living being is immune to swine flu. It has been reported that a cat in Iowa has been tested positive for the H1N1 virus. This obviously is a foreshadowing of the end of times. This disease discriminates not. Whether you are man or beast, you are in danger of contracting this [...]
Stupid Ice-Skating Bears!
Apparently a bear which had been trained to skate on the ice for the amusement of the Russian circus-going public has mauled and killed its manager (trainer).
Ungrateful bear! The guy took you in and gave you ice-skates; what more do you want?!
The bear, who had skates on at the time, severely mauled another circus worker [...]
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