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Posts Tagged ‘Government’

Sex & Gambling Are Not Just For Vegas

Written by The Sarcasmist on April 23, 2010 - Comments (7)

Some of the senior staffers at the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) were busy looking at porn on the Internet instead of watching the U.S. economy careen towards a precipice. “A senior attorney at the SEC’s Washington headquarters spent up to eight hours a day looking at and downloading pornography. When he ran out of ... Read More

‘God Bless You’ to be Banned In Government Buildings

Written by The Sarcasmist on April 16, 2010 - Comments (47)

As part of a strict interpretation of the United States Constitution, a new bill has been introduced which will ban the term ‘God bless you’ from being uttered in government buildings. This ban is meant to enforce the separation of church and state as required by the U.S. Constitution. “If there is going to be ... Read More

Defendant Sues Prosecutor for Making Him Feel Guilty

Written by The Sarcasmist on April 14, 2010 - Comments (19)

The Los Angeles city prosecutor’s office has acknowledged that one of its prosecuting attorneys is being sued for making a defendant feel guilty. “The suit is absolutely ridiculous, and we fully expect the judge to throw out the case. The prosecuting attorney was simply doing his job, which was presenting the evidence in order to ... Read More

USPS Financial Woes Caused by Letters to God

Written by The Sarcasmist on April 9, 2010 - Comments (28)

The United States Post Office is asking US citizens to stop sending letters to God. The amount of work that the handling of such letters is creating is resulting in a huge deficit in efficiency. “We understand that need for people to communicate with their maker; however, in light of the severe economic stress that ... Read More

World Powers Meet to Create Oil Shortage

Written by The Sarcasmist on April 8, 2010 - Comments (11)

Oh no! Iran better get its act together or she’s really going to get it this time. World powers are going to meet and talk the topic to death and then disagree on what type of sanction to impose on Iran. “We are going to try and impose sanctions on Iranian oil exports, and show ... Read More