Tag Archives: People
Rosie O’Donnell Stops Pretending
It turns out that Rosie O’Donnell’s significant other, Kelli Carpenter, moved out two years ago; a fact that O’Donnell has been keeping quiet about this entire time. She is, however, very happy with Kelli’s replacement, a long-haired Chihuahua.
During a talk, on her radio show, with Sonya Fitzpatrick (a pet psychic) O’Donnell revealed that Misty (that’s [...]
How Dare The Chinese Not Be Free?
The U.S. is very concerned with the lack of freedom the Chinese people suffer. This is one of the biggest concerns of our day. The freedom of other people is of paramount importance. China should surely follow the advice of the people who brought freedom and democracy to Iraq and are poised to do the [...]
Study: Men Six Times More Douchey Than Women
A U.S. study of men and women suffering from cancer has revealed that “women are six times more likely to end up separated or divorced if they are diagnosed with cancer or multiple sclerosis than if their male partners were facing the same illness.” (Reuters)
There is obviously a scientific explanation for this. It can’t possibly [...]
Lose Weight Using Math
In yet another humanitarian effort by the Sarcasmist, he is determined to put an end to FATS (Fat Assault Through Spillover). It is a well known fact that airplane travel is exceedingly uncomfortable due to the tiny seats (which only recline half an inch), and the constant hum of the jet engines (to name [...]
Drunk Pilot – That’s Nice
Only a few weeks after the Northwest fiasco, where two pilots overshot the airport they were supposed to land in by 1.5 hours, a United Airlines pilot is charged with being drunk as he was about to start a transatlantic flight. (Reuters)
Every time something like this happens I am reminded of the often-used line that [...]
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