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Apple iPad – Siren to the Apple Fanboy

Written by The Sarcasmist on April 5, 2010 - Comments (18)

When the first Apple iPhone was released, there were more than 200,000 early-adopters who purchased the now iconic ‘phone’; however, after a few months, Apple reduced the price of the iPhone by by $200, leaving the early-adopters looking mighty stupid. But any animal learns from experience, and humans being the most intelligent in the animal kingdom learn much more quickly. So it was a shock that the first-day sales of the iPad, the new gadget from Apple, sold over 300,000 units.

The Sarcasmist would like to believe that these two groups (early iPhone and iPad buyers) have no overlap. It’s really not possible that there are 100,000 more idiots than there were just three years ago. Nature is supposed to get rid of those idiots through natural selection, isn’t it?


  1. This is freaking classic! hahahahahahahahaha! Awesome!

  2. They are breeding faster than nature can get rid of them!

  3. Just think…they vote too.

  4. It should be noted that natural selection can take some time..

    It is possible that the early-adopters of the iPhone were mostly hermits, living in their own Mac-driven worlds and therefore having no concept of reality. They would be unaware of how stupid they looked initially, and so would not see the increased stupidity of repeating their own ridiculous actions.

    It is also possible that another 100,000 people have gone into seclusion since buying their reduced price iPhone and have simply become what I like to call iHuman.

    The saving grace here is that this new race of iHumans is, in fact, sterile and so natural selection will curve the numbers of new iHumans by not allowing them to spawn offspring.

  5. Sadly, I think in that Venn diagram, the two overlap far more than any of us would be comfortable with. I’ve sampled one now and found it to be more of a portable television set than any sort of personal computer as I would define it. Then again, some people probably shouldn’t have keyboards anyway.

  6. sven from sverige

    same happens with the videogames in many countries, weeks later they are cheaper and u dont have to wait like an idiot several hours outside until the shop open…

    same happened years ago with the sony PS3 and now is way cheaper than when they realese it…

    btw, i have a Nokia cell phone… I POD SUCKS

  7. It’s a case of taking advantage of the human propensity for impatience. Patience can be such an advantage over the average.

    The same goes for movies too. I always wait until the second or third weekend to see a big block buster because I get the theater almost all to myself if I wait.

    • Unfortunately it’s the impatient types who breed the most prolifically. Might explain the increase in buyers as well. That and natural selection is on hold in Western “Civilization”.

  8. Richard Banger

    I used to buy each and every new Apple product until they took my house away from all the missed mortgage payments. Now I just hang out at the library and drink hot water because I can’t afford Starbucks anymore. I miss my hybrid cars, and my suburban house, and my ex-wife, who is a third of my age. APPLE RUINED MY LIFE.

  9. eh, as soon as apples starts going downhill. They’ll start pulling the kill switches and fanboys all across the lands will remain as lifeless corpses. But for now, they’re that experiment gone wrong. Turning normal people in zombies.

    • Reminds me of Umbrella in Resident evil. Could they possibly turn people into zombies with their electronical gadget? It’s simply genius! Imagine how fast the propagation will be! In fact, nature is simply preparing for a total anihilation ;)

  10. Apple Ipad… Really? What is wrong with people. There are wayyyyyyy better tablets coming out at better prices. I mean just check out the Notion Ink’s Adam; now that is worth lining up for!

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