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PETA picks a fight with Mario

Written by The Sarcasmist on November 15, 2011 - Comments (9)

Animals have no better friend than PETA, and the organization has proven this fact once again by picking a fight with Nintendo and their new game Super Mario 3D Land.

Some of you may think that it’s high time someone spoke out about Mario’s turtle stomping, but PETA members are no prudes, they know that the turtles aren’t really hurt when Mario jumps on them–they just hide inside their shells. Even though no turtles get harmed in the making of the Mario games, there is a much more sinister side to these so-called video games.

Super Mario 3D Land sounds like a harmless enough game but once you look into it, you realize that Mario is just a coon-scalping maniac. In Super Mario 3D Land, Mario puts on a tanuki (Japanese racoon dog) skin suit, and runs around as if there isn’t anything wrong with wearing another animals skin. Mario is promoting the wearing of animal fur, says PETA.

“Tanooki may be just a ‘suit’ in Mario games, but in real life, tanuki are raccoon dogs who are skinned alive for their fur,” said PETA in an official statement. “By wearing Tanooki, Mario is sending the message that it’s OK to wear fur.”

They are, of course, right. Hopefully, once PETA is done putting Mario straight, it will turn its sight onto the Discovery Channel and Animal Planet for glorifying animal on animal violence by showing lions attacking gazelle, and anteaters destroying ant hills to eat not only the adult ants but also the innocent young.

Comments

  1. I’m joining PETG – People for the ethical treatment of goombas. Why is their welfare not given attention?? Little suckers getting squished left and right. The horrors.

  2. Obviously PETA need to do their research. And by research, I mean the Super Mario Brothers storybook my brother got bought by a videogame-ignorant grandparent one christmas (we were a staunchly Sega household…), wherein the backstory of Mario’s Tanuki suit is revealed.

    It was made out of enchanted fuzzy cloth by a tailor with ulterior motives. It’s not a racoon-dog pelt in any way shape or form.

    Besides, Tanuki can get quite large, and Mario’s a dumpy little guy, but one still imagines that he’d have considerable difficulty fitting inside the skin of even the tallest, fattest example of the species.

    PETA once again showing the considerable intelligence, tact, and devotion to factual accuracy that’s made them the well-loved and respected figurehead organisation of the global drive towards humane treatment of other animal species. How terrible it would be if they acted in a sensationalist, knee-jerk fashion and needlessly made the whole animal protection idea a cheap laughing stock as a side effect.

    • On reflection, I wonder what their view of Furries is? Specifically, the properly committed type who order (or make) and wear full-body “fursuits”.

      OMG IT LOOKS LIKE AN ANIMAL AND HAS THE WORD “FUR” IN THE NAME IT MUST SURELY BE THE HARVESTED SKIN OF SOME UNNATURALLY HUGE WOLF / RABBIT / FOX WITH HAIR FOLLICLES THAT EXUDED SOME EXOTIC FORM OF POLYESTER… YOU EVIL MONSTER! HOW CAN YOU BEAR TO WEAR THE HOLLOWED-OUT SYNTHETIC PELT OF THAT NOBLE CREATURE!

    • And of course, getting up in fake-fur fancy dress can’t be anything other than promoting the wearing of fur, can it…

      I don’t recall ever hearing of Tanuki being killed for their fur, btw. They’re supposedly a sacred animal in Japanese mythology, doing something like that would be considered desperately bad luck even if you did it accidentally.

      American raccoons, maybe, but not their unrelated-in-anything-but-name oriental cousins.

    • HAHA. love it!! I regret to say I was a member of PETA until I realized that some of the things they stood for were against sound science :)

  3. Well PETA is off the deepend. It is a video game. If I use their logic. People Eating Tasty Animals is wrong. But I don’t think Bacon is wrong and Bacon can never be wrong.

  4. I could say a lot against PETA – how they don’t make sense (being polite here) etc. – but really, whats new? I mean its not like we expected them to suddenly change did we? I just have to say though that the last paragraph MAKES this post! Lol love it!

  5. i’m surprised SuperMario has time for anything these days what with him being the prime minister of Italy and all…

  6. Maybe after PETA does all of what it needs to do, like harassing old ladies for wearing fur, maybe they will go after the motorcycle gangs and tell them not to wear leather. Or do they not support their cause that much?

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