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Search Engines to Index Blog Posts & Status Updates within Seconds

Written by The Sarcasmist on March 24, 2010 - Comments (10)

"Hold on! I am tweeting."

The Consortium of Search Engine Operators has issued a press release announcing an industry-wide effort to boost processing capacity to index and rank every new blog post and status update within seconds of publication.

“We recognize the importance of bringing our users the latest blog postings as well as status update, from various social media platforms, in our search engine result pages. We believe that every piece of content published on the Internet is important–from the public/personal journal of an Emo, to the daily ramblings of an out-of-work father deranged of five, to the manipulated and paid for product review,” said a spokesperson for the consortium.

The spokesperson finished by saying that “the volume of content being generated is growing exponentially, and it is important to  make sure no opinion goes unheard, no matter how idiotic.”


  1. umm… yay?

  2. Yep, keep pumping out mediocrity. Spewing worthless information is the newest fad, don’t you know.

  3. Besides, if we do it this no ones has to deal with those stupid books anymore. Down with real education.

    • Billy Joe Wondermutt

      Hell yea. We dont need skool. Huked on foniks werked for me!

      We shood spend all that skool money on medisin. My baby-momma needs a toof operashun.

  4. How fast will they be able to let people know about this comment?

  5. Philosopherqueen

    I know this article was written as a joke but, just for kicks, I Googled “The Consortium of Search Engine Operators” to see if they had already indexed the article and, sure enough, it’s the first result on the page!

  6. Why dont they just send every bit of informationon the internet to everyone’s email box? Then none of us could say we were uninforned…

  7. This makes me sad… on multiple levels. I think the most depressing part is that there is a lot of people who would be all about paying for something like this.

  8. Another Lesbian but taken

    Go ahead nerds.. just spoil the search engines altogether.. Here’s and idea.. index the photo albums and their private chats too.. Google will be the best porn site then..

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