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Global Warming: What a Joke!

Written by The Sarcasmist on December 7, 2009 - Comments (80)
Global Warming

Look, our planet is wearing tie-dye!

Climate change is a hoax! Forget what decades of scientific data have to say; just step outside and feel the cold winter air slap your face about, and then tell me global warming is real. If global warming was real, could it be so easily debunked by any nut-job with tendencies to look for conspiracy theories? I think not!

People keep shouting about how the glaciers and the polar icecap are melting, and that that is a sure sign of global warming. Crazies, I tell you! When I see the ice in my glass of Coke melting, do I start thinking, “oh my God, my Coke is going to get warmer!”? No, I know that my glass of Coke is going to be cold. Same goes for the glaciers and the polar icecap, if they are melting it means they are cooling the oceans. The fish in the sea are dying because the water is becoming too damn cold.

People of Earth, do not be alarmed; there is no global warming. Don’t mind the scientist and their so-called data. In fact, I urge everyone to go out and buy a new Hummer and get their very own coal-fired oven.


  1. Holy shit ! Hahahha… And I wanna believe in global warming. the world is doomed ! fuck greenhouse gases shit ..2012 lol

  2. Exactly what I keep sayin

  3. That was awesome. :D

  4. Also if you want to read more check out Drudge Report they have be reporting on this for a while the Global warming Conspiracy was unveiled by a Hacker who broke in to the Emails of a few scientists who have been communicating for years about how to make people believe we are being horrible human beings and killing the earth lol AL Gore should seriously hang his head in shame for all of the Bull he has been slinging about GW. It is truth that we are going through a climate change but the Earth Naturally does that ever few hundred years. In 800 A.D. Greenland was actually Green not just covered in Ice and that is because we went through a cooling Cycle and in the 1500’s we went through a warming Cycle… Whoop de dooo Me thinks the Earth will be fine.

  5. And once again someone misses the boat on sarcasm….

  6. If we do have a problem with global warming I think we need to regulate farm emissions and fill in Volcano’s. LOL

    • if you look it up about 98% of the greenhouse gasses produced are NOT from humans, industry etc., lets go picket the trees and get them to stop burning down!

  7. Climate warming right now is linked more to the fact that we are entering a more active Solar cycle.

  8. Gotta say .. the only thing i disagree with is this statement :
    “The fish in the sea are dying because the water is becoming too damn cold.”

    Reason being is that logic will tell you .. after all the oil spills and all the crap that we pump into the oceans dealing with chemicals that were not made for the oceans and natural water ways .. in turn polluting the housing of all mammal life as well as all living creatures that have the water as their home .. it goes to show that it is the reason why the fish are dieing .. also .. were taking from without putting back and in turn screwing up the balance that once was .. that kept things in order .. you can’t expect to have if you don’t give back in a way to balance out .. give what you take .. and all would still be available .. if not .. we have extinction .. and so goes the domino’s of destruction ..

    • i’m glad someone is smart here and understands the seriousness of the situation.

    • @Anna

      What th fish mann…. You just wasted every1s time..including urs.. n degraded the oh-so-fckin-good level of the post…. “BOWS DOWN”….

  9. OH NOES, you mean it is getting warmer like it was when the Vikings were sailing to GREENLAND. Oh NOES lol

    When you have to fake date, hide data, change peer review there is something wrong. It is not denying global warming it is denying there is a huge problem.
    Earth Day was created to stop Global Cooling!

    • So…Earth day is the solution to all our problems?

    • Umm… You do know Greenland was covered in ice ca.1000 AD. The saga of Erik the red says he had to sail to the other side of the island before he could find a place with sufficient land free of ice to be able to settle.

    • No, no, no. Don’t you get it, Earth Day was TOO successful. Not only did it stop global cooling, but it actually warmed the Earth too much. The solution is to STOP Earth Day. Then everything will get back to normal, and all these GW deniers can go back to photoshopping fake Kenyan birth certificates.

  10. if we keep Dumping waste into the Oceans
    The Animals living in it will Evolve to the new surroundings be that a good or Bad thing not ALL of the Fish are dieing just the ones that arent cut out for the new surroundings … Natural Selection Plain and simple

    • speciation doesn’t work that fast . .

    • Yeah … it’s kind of a tens-of-thousands-of-years process dude, expecting them to catch up after maybe 100 years is kind of expecting too much …

    • I somewhat agree, and like you i know nothing about speciation, nor care. i do agree in survival of the fittest. and maybe we can speed up speciation and get some mutant fish, maybe even some xmen, storm is pretty hot lets not deny ;)

    • And besides, all of the evidence points towards the next ice age, if the north pole melts it will raise the sea level by at least 20ft, and stop the ocean/wind heat currents and the northern hemisphere will freeze over as a result. when that happens we wont need to worry about carbon emissions it will be too late. i say we should build the ships of 2012 and get on board :P


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